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This is a question Terrible food

Back when I was a student, we had a "clear out the fridge" party. Everyone brought what they had left and the idea was to make a big meal out of it.

The stew/casserole/whatever was going surprisingly well until someone added the tin of mackerel in tomato sauce they'd been hoarding all year.

What's the worst thing you've ever cooked or eaten? Who's the worst cook you've encountered?

[and yes, we've asked this before, but way, way back before we had the fancy QOTW pages]

(, Thu 17 May 2007, 10:23)
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Well food has never really made me sick, but...
My mother came damn close. She made some abiguous brown stew that smelt and tasted as bad as it looked. It didn't help that this slop reminded me vividly of the first time I ever saw a port-a-loo. Let's just say that it put me of puplic toilets FOR LIFE! I finished about half of the stew before it almost came back up again. I didn't feel quite right for a couple of hours.

Once when I had a mild case of food poisoning I had just about got my appetite back. I started slowly by just having noodle soup and a bit of bread. I was fine for a quite a while and was happy to be back on the mend. A few hours later I felt...strange. I leant over the side of the sofa just as a raging stream of creamy, brown vomit came thundering out of my mouth not unlike Linda Blair's puke in the Exorxist. I laugh about it now but at the time it wasn't very pleasent to see my dinner flying 5ft away from my face.

My final story concerns a holiday many years ago. I was staying with my Grandparents on a little speck of an island called Ascension. The island was under American control, therefore all the shops were filled with American items. This meant the food was rather sugary*. My Gran served an apple crumble for desert but it was so full of sugar I couldn't handle more than a few spoonfuls. "Is this American?" I asked,
"No, why?"
"Because it's way too sugary. It tastes terrible".
At this point my Gran's face dropped and I learned that she had in fact made it herself. Instead of just brushing it off as one of those 'kids say the dumbest shit' moments, she hit me with this one-liner, "Might as well throw myself off the pier". Way to go Grandma, make the 7 year old feel bad by threatening suicide. To top it off she's a born-again Christian. She hasn't done anything like that since but I still haven't forgiven her.

I think I'm the only person so far to simultaneously recieve shit food AND a death threat....

* A gross understatement.
(, Tue 22 May 2007, 18:00, Reply)

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