bloody hands
I have a spare bedroom at my place and also live near the town centre and as such workmates often crash over when they have had a few too many sniffs of the barmaid's apron.

This particular time I also was a few sheets to the wind having spent most of the day wrestling with the barmaid's apron as part of a tag team with a colleague of mine. At kicking out time I managed to get the both of us home and through the front door, but I had to admit defeat and go straight to bed, the lightweight that I am.

The next morning I woke up to carnage. Blood stains all over the kitchen, bloody handprints all up the stairs to the spare bedroom and groaning noises from within.

I sobered up pretty sharpish, let me tell you.

A word of advice to you all:

If you own a jar of Baxters Baby Beetroot

a) keep it away from your pissed workmate

b) if this is not possible due to your own deal with Bacchus, at least make sure implements are available for the consumption of said baby beetroot; a fork, a spoon etc., Bacchus makes them blind to such implements (or at least the drawer containing them).

My workmate consumed a whole 750 g jar of baby beetroot (plus drinking the vinegar) with bare hands only and then decided bed would be a good idea. The blood (now known as beetroot juice) in the kitchen was frustration that beetroot does not tend to jump into your mouth without cutlery; shaking the jar does not make miracles happen, and so blood (beetroot juice) on all the walls.

The blood on the stairs was a result of being too pissed to get to bed without bouncing off all the walls: hands + beetroot juice vs magnolia silk paintwork.

The groaning sounds? What would you expect from a pissed up bastard who had ingested 750g of vinegar soaked bleurgh, including juice, on top of a day in the boozer?

3 days of purple sloppy poo, so they told me
( no longer a user, Wed 23 May 2007, 20:46, Reply)