Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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Father / son chatI recall with fondness the time I was driving with my dad and we stopped to buy porn. I suppose I was 14 and begining to simmer with toxic hormones. He popped into a newsagents and came out with two mags and some toilet roll, and we drove out into the countryside.
"Don't be shy, Frank," he said, levering his own rigid manhood from his fly. He balanced the centerfold on the steering wheel and began to whack away quite unselfconsciously oblivious to my embarrassment. I flicked through the magazine until I found a particularly impressive lady, apparently attempting to retrieve something from her rectum with a manicured finger, and I made to unleash my own growing tool.
That's when a policeman in a high-visibility garment rapped on the window. My dad was done for indecent exposure and I was interviewed by social services for the rest of the day, answering questions about whether anyone had touched me inappropriately. And they confiscated the mags. Wankers.
(, Fri 17 Aug 2007, 16:13, Reply)
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