Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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my old boss helenaand her husband were having a crafty shag one morning thinking that their kids were asleep. as he was getting to the vinegar strokes, a sticky little hand grasped her foot and her 2 year old son, who had wandered in unnoticed at some point, cried out gleefully, "faster daddy, faster!"
god, talk about ruining the moment.
mind you, when he was a couple of months old, she was leaning over my desk at work to show me something and a very swollen, very full, very milky breastpad fell out of her bra and out of her blouse and landed wetly on my keyboard with a sickening splosh. drops of my boss' white breastmilk splashed all over my keys.
we looked at it for a moment, and then she pissed herself laughing and flatly refused to move it. bitch!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 18 Aug 2007, 10:02,
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