Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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My stepdad was a fucking psychoThere are many, many stories I could tell that wouldn't be even remotely funny, and frankly I'm probably best off not even trying to remember.
The time he tried to teach me to swim by throwing me into a pool, the deep end, may come close though.
Or when he found it so 'cute' that I'd tried to make my mum feel better by warming some orange squash for her, otherwise at a loss for what I could do and somewhat limited by being 6 years old and banned from using most kitchen stuff/accessing hard paracetamol, that he proceeded to RIP THE EVER LIVING PISS for about 2 years afterwards, putting me down at every opportunity and 'affectionately' calling me 'little Florence without a clue'.
Though when he was ill I had to lay with him while he fell asleep feeling sorry for himself, and then got grounded when he woke up to find I'd snuck out to do other stuff while he slept.
Nice guy. I hope his insides are slowly eating themselves out* :)
*You should probably take it for a given that there is more to his story than these silly examples
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Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Sun 19 Aug 2007, 0:40,
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