Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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Wobbly TeethAs a small child, the systematic process of ones baby teeth becoming wobbly then dropping out was weird and often financially rewarding (rich Grandmother 'Tooth-fairy')..... So when one canine tooth was being particularly stubborn and hanging in there on a thick strand of root, good old dad suggests I do it 'like we used to' and tie a piece of string from the tooth to the door knob and then slam the door. Of course this sounded ok, Dad would never allow his only son to suffer right? So there i was, struggling to tie a knot around a tooth when Dad helped and secured the door end also.... Then he steps back and tells me to slam that door. This I do...... The spiteful Cnut had tied the string around the loose tooth and a perfectly healthy one that came popping loose with a spray of blood and great scream of pain. It also caused me to stumble forward and knock myself senseless on the door handle.
My enduring memory is not the pain, but the sight of my dad, rolling around on the floor and saying that even he didnt fall for that one when he was a boy.... God I cant wait until I got a son.
(, Sun 19 Aug 2007, 9:44, Reply)
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