Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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And this is why my dad wasn't allowed to babysit ever againI was about 8 or 9 months old and loved to tool around in my walker. For those of you under 45, a walker is a seat suspended in a little frame on castors. The baby's feet can touch the ground and propel him around and the frame holds him upright. You can't buy them now since too many babies have shot down staircases, fallen through windows, etc.
Anyway, my mom asked my dad to keep an eye on me while she walked up to the store and bought something for dinner. She does so and on the way back hears a baby screaming 2 blocks away. As she gets closer, she realizes it's me and runs the rest of the way. A neat trick considering she is wearing those 3 inch heel 1961 cockroach killers. Mom bursts through the door to find:
My 19 year old dad fast asleep on the couch and me tipped over with my head, hands and upper torso in the (blessedly unlit)fireplace. I am screaming my lungs out not 5 feet from his head, so loudly my mom can hear it from 2 whole blocks away. I think that was the first time Mom ever yelled at Dad.
(, Mon 20 Aug 2007, 0:09, Reply)
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