Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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Creamy DischargeSimilar event only - turn the tables.
I was once married to a woman who already had four children. We went off the east coast one hot summer's day, in the early eighties. On the way back, the children, tired and hot were whinging like gooduns. This, of course, made driving all the more uncomfortable. At length, I found a convenient lay-by and I pulled the aging Citroën Dyane into it. I parked up and lectured the children about the fuss they were making. I finished up with "If you don't be quiet, I will put you out and you can all walk home!"
I gunned the motor (well! As much as you can gun a Dyane :) ), slipped the clutch and away we went. Not a peek was heard from them! Not a murmur. I was congratulating myself on my parental powers when I heard an almost whisper "What has that light come on for?" as I applied the brakes to pull up outside our house.
When the wife and I got out of the car, there was no immediate evidence of the children. It seems that, under the acceleration from the lay-by, the seat rolled backwards and tipped them in the boot, then came back empty. They thought that I had done it deliberately.
(, Mon 20 Aug 2007, 6:39, Reply)
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