Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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Domestic violence can be fun...My Mum and my Step-Dad used to batter the fuck out of each other, they'd get drunk and just start laying into whoever was nearest. It was all very traumatising at the time, but looking back now it's quite funny to think of the things my Mum did in retaliation to her husband's flying fists. Namely;
-Stabbing him through the arm with a dinner fork.
-Stabbing him through the chest with the pointy end of an umbrella.
-Breaking his arm with the pole from a Henry the hoover. He cried like a girl after that one, and I've never been able to look a those vacuum cleaners in the same way since, I swear there's malice behind Henry's innocent looking smile.
Don't fuck with my Mum, she's a double-hard bastard and she has truly earned her nickname, The Ginger Hulk.
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Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 20 Aug 2007, 11:40,
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