Terrible Parenting
My parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
( , Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
My parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
( , Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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golf clubs and batman...
when i was four, my old man was showing my 18 year old cousin how to swing a golf club in our garden, standing behind him and swinging it with him... then just as my father stands back and says something to him about swinging it alone, i come running up the lawn right into the 7 iron's trajectory.
It knocked me out, i woke up in the ambulance, i still have a 4 cm scar on the side my chin, i can feel the dent in the bone and sometimes i make a clicking sound when i'm chewing.
(but the scar is in the same place as action man's, so at school that was pretty cool)
oh and when i was seven, i was obsessed with batman (the corny tv show, this being 1979), and the way he could seemingly jump from building to building so i tried jumping out of my bedroom window onto the lawn, my bedroom being upstairs, obviously.
I dented the lawn a couple of inches deep, my old man first started yelling at me as i lay on the ground, then took me to hospital, and they sort of asked questions along the lines of "erm, did he jump or was he pushed", so i guess they couldn't believe i'd be stupid enough to jump out of a window. I wasn't really damaged though, surprisingly.
as for really bad parenting, thanks to years of being underappreciated, unsupported, never really listened to or trusted, i've inherited shitloads of neurosis, repressed anger which seeps out at inappropriate times and an unhealthy taste for getting smashed off my nut. So THANKS for all of those!
(the sad thing is, i'm 35, i've just got back from a weekend at my parents and they STILL manage to make me feel like i'm 12!)
(woo! in a group therapy session stylee or what?)
( , Mon 20 Aug 2007, 22:37, Reply)
when i was four, my old man was showing my 18 year old cousin how to swing a golf club in our garden, standing behind him and swinging it with him... then just as my father stands back and says something to him about swinging it alone, i come running up the lawn right into the 7 iron's trajectory.
It knocked me out, i woke up in the ambulance, i still have a 4 cm scar on the side my chin, i can feel the dent in the bone and sometimes i make a clicking sound when i'm chewing.
(but the scar is in the same place as action man's, so at school that was pretty cool)
oh and when i was seven, i was obsessed with batman (the corny tv show, this being 1979), and the way he could seemingly jump from building to building so i tried jumping out of my bedroom window onto the lawn, my bedroom being upstairs, obviously.
I dented the lawn a couple of inches deep, my old man first started yelling at me as i lay on the ground, then took me to hospital, and they sort of asked questions along the lines of "erm, did he jump or was he pushed", so i guess they couldn't believe i'd be stupid enough to jump out of a window. I wasn't really damaged though, surprisingly.
as for really bad parenting, thanks to years of being underappreciated, unsupported, never really listened to or trusted, i've inherited shitloads of neurosis, repressed anger which seeps out at inappropriate times and an unhealthy taste for getting smashed off my nut. So THANKS for all of those!
(the sad thing is, i'm 35, i've just got back from a weekend at my parents and they STILL manage to make me feel like i'm 12!)
(woo! in a group therapy session stylee or what?)
( , Mon 20 Aug 2007, 22:37, Reply)
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