Fathers huh
If my father has done anything at all it is to make me determined not to be like him. Firstly when he lived at home and was married to my mother he ruled the house with his fists. I found out later in life that the bruises my mum was covered in were generally caused by him and we feared him. My mum finally got the courage together to leave him when he turned his attention to giving me a kicking (at around 10 years old). They divorced around that time and they both got on with their lives and remarried both to very nice people. There were numerous other instances and humiliations that over the years I have swept under the carpet of my mind telling myself that he was my dad and I should forgive him cos thats how it was. I was even the only one of his kids that stood by him when his missus found out he was having an affair.
Around three years ago though the camels back broke big time. My ailing grandmother who i had always got on well with was taken into a nursing home with dementia. Sadly it effects her short term memory so she cannot remember anything that happened over 5 minutes ago. As a result of this she used to ring my father around 20 times a day and being confused couldn't work out why the miserable twat didn't want to speak to his own mother. I received a phone call from an extremely distressed grandmother in tears asking me to ring my father and find out what shes done wrong. So I picked up the phone to ask my dad to ring my grandmother up to reassure her that shes not done anything wrong.
When i asked this question I was greeted with a torrent of abuse along the lines of "You never go up to see her (I do see her regularly) you and your sister would soon go up if there was 3 grand to pick up.
Stunned i put the phone down on him. I have never asked him for anything other than his time and my sister is the same. I have always worked for a living (as has my sister) and have sorted my life out myself. I don't even know where the sum of three grand comes from.

Since this incident i have realized that i don't need an abusive bully in my life. He has had nothing to do with my daughter his only granddaughter even going so far as to cross out granddad on a Christmas card that his wife sent to her (she was three years old at the time).
I don't hate him though i pity him. He will die a lonely man and no one will miss him.
Apologies for length it took way to long to realise
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 21 Aug 2007, 11:35, Reply)