Terrible Children
With all this talk of terrible parenting I’d just like to add a few words from the other side of the fence – as a parent. A parent of terrible children (twin boys aged nine and a half). I'm a perfect parent, actually.

The following examples will illustrate how terrible my children are….

#1 Aged approximately two and a half years the boys were playing in front of the (large) open fire which had an equally large fire guard in place. I went to answer a telephone call in the next room, no more than 10 feet away. So I’m talking and I hear giggling and then a sort of ‘whommff’ sound – phone gets thrown down. I run back into the room to discover they have taken some boxes they’d been playing with and shoved them on the fire. How? A tiny gap between the guard and the open fire – way above their heads! And now the chimney is blazing away….I run to the kitchen, get water, throw it on the fire, it goes out in the grate but the chimney is still roaring…Oh Dear….999….flashing lights, sirens…the lot….kids very impressed. Mother mortified.

2# Aged approximately four years old they climb up onto chairs and work surfaces in the kitchen to reach the cat worming tablets…then using their play picnic set they cut a tablet up (or attempt to) and one of them eats it. I had to phone a London hospital and speak to the Poisons’ Department and then put up with the person on the phone laughing when I told them what had happened. And then I was asked if he had a damp nose and shiny hair!

3# Aged approximately three years old one of them was on the verge of expulsion from their playgroup…Being nasty to other children? No, very popular boy. Being rude to people? No, very polite. Hitting, kicking or stealing? No, no, no. But he’ll have to leave unless he stops running the place and allows the paid staff to do their job….He had a habit of standing up and telling the rest of the kids what to do…and they did it and ignored the staff.

#4 The most recent one – the other day in a posh department store in town. We had been to the toy department and they had used their own money to purchase some fart sweets and a fart whistle. We are then walking back through the cosmetics and perfume department when one of them blows the fart whistle very loudly next to me then straight-faced shouts out, “Mummy! How could you!” To my shame I began to giggle and then when I noticed the filthy looks I was getting from the painted ladies of the store we made for the door fast. I got the last laugh though…they both ate the fart sweets and then spent the evening in the loo…..they got more than just farts!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 21 Aug 2007, 12:16, Reply)