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This is a question Terrible Parenting

My parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.

On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)

(, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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it's okay, i've got the dog!
Bless my Mum and Dad, but they had been trying for kids for some time. After the happy event happened, a few months down the line, Mum popped me in the pram, grabbed the dog lead and took doggie and me into town. Popped round the shops, getting things she needed as normal. Finished in supermarket, parked up pram to pack bags, untied dog's lead from pram, and wandered off home with the dog and shopping.

It was only when she got to the door that she realised that she'd left pram and baby me behind. Running full speed to the shops, she got there in time to get many accusing glances from policeman and shop attendants. "It's okay," she blurted, "I remembered the dog..."

It's remarkable that I turned out so perfect*.

(They gay thing aside, of course. I don't think pram-abandonment turns you poofy.)
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 21:06, Reply)

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