The story below reminds me of....
...The time I was taken through the disciplinary process at an employer.
Backstory. My manager was an unremitting twunt. He had no social life and threw his entire being into his work, he would call at all hours, expect answers to voicemail messages and emails within minutes day, night, weekend didn't matter to him - HE had fuck-all else in his life and didn't understand if YOU did, if you didn't answer he'd get apoplectic with rage.
I went on holiday. I didn't take my works 'phone or laptop with me. The day I landed back was a Saturday and I'd booked to be in the head office on Monday, so I didn't check my messages. On arrival at head office I was greeted by my manager, who clearly had been vein-poppingly angry for the entire five days I'd been away, the managing director of the company and the international HR director.
I was almost frogmarched into the conference room whereupon my manager started ranting, getting more and more worked up until he had tears in his eyes, banging the table and screaming at me (from about 6 inches away) about my 'Lack of professionalism*, lack of team spirit**, laziness***, lackadaisical attitude****' etc etc.
Once the MD and HR Director had intervened and ushered him out of the room to calm down, they turned to me.
"Now then CP, what have you got to say for yourself, these are serious carreer threatening accusations! C'mon, out with it" He said.
"I was on holiday, in fact, I was on a holiday that YOU PAID FOR due to my performance, that YOU ANNOUNCED AT THE SALES MEETING and YOU AND (my manager) DROVE ME TO THE FUCKING AIRPORT" I opined, somewhat forcefully.
"Oh".
My manager was escorted from the building 20 minutes later.

*Guilty
**Yep
***Can't deny it
**** Pretty much
Still out-performed all of the drones though.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 18:14, 9 replies)

Out-performing the drones eh?...

How did you do last month perchance? (Cos you never mention it in the pub, you modest bugger)

;)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 9 Jan 2014, 18:55, closed)

Fairly well, I suppose.
But as you know, that's all down to my go-getting attitude, selfless dedication to my work and downright nose-to-the-grindstone day and night grafting.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 19:05, closed)

"My manager was escorted from the building 20 minutes later."
Did you drive him away in your Honda Accord of Victory??
(McChinaman banned, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 18:55, closed)

He stayed at the company - he may still be there but DFKDFC
I think they made him have some leave - I don't recall him having any at all before that. He came back reinvigorated, relaxed but still a twunt.
I left about three months later.

BTW, I've never had a Honda Accord - nice cars though.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 9 Jan 2014, 19:03, closed)

cool have a click

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 12:01, closed)

Oh man, I love swearing at the MD

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 12:08, closed)

To complete your victory,
was his daughter was raped and then killed herself while in prison?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 14:19, closed)

You beat AB!
I'm impressed.*

*No, I'm not.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 15:19, closed)

Alright scarpe

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 Jan 2014, 15:27, closed)