I worked for a maniac.
As an engineer, you occasionally get the opportunity to do some seriously odd stuff. Some of it is cool and intriguing- but some of it is clearly unworkable horseshit that the bosses insist will work anyway.

One of mine was a project which is theoretically classified, so I'll be a little vague on it. Basically it was to be an electromagnetic pulse bomb that could be carried and deployed by one person. Sounds cool, doesn't it?

The thing is, to make a substantial enough EMP to do damage it has to put a large amount of current through a coil. That means a lot of electrical storage capacity. What he was proposing to power it with was a tiny capacitor capable of holding thousands of volts- but very little amperage. It was like trying to blow out a house fire with a CO2 cartridge- a lot of pressure, but no volume.

Also, the way that the electrical engineer wanted the thing to be configured was idiotic. It worked in part by a plunger that would impact the target and be pushed in, triggering the coil. He wanted a neodymium magnet attached to the plunger, 3/4" diameter by 1" long. I did a quick computation- on launch the thing would exert 400 lbs of thrust, pulling the plunger in as it launched and causing a lightning storm in the barrel of the launcher.

Apparently he was taking his physics lessons and materials knowledge from Wiley Coyote.

I tried explaining this to my boss. Only one little hitch- every day he started his morning with coffee and switched to Coors Light by 9:30. Early in the day he would be lucid but hung over. By lunch time he was unable to follow what I was saying to him and would get truculent. By 4:00 he would be drunk off his ass and incoherent.

As I understand it he had at one point attained the rank of colonel in the Army, so now he was living off of favors he begged from old friends to get DOD money to innovate new weaponry. He would weave clouds of bullshit so profound that he believed it himself- and even when I showed him my equations to demonstrate what I was saying he refused to accept it, because the other engineer had been in the military and had been the owner of his own company for years and had more experience than I did as an engineer. This long-haired hippie looking kid with an earring was obviously wrong.

Recently he relocated in the wee hours of the morning. I'm told that he had several trucks that showed up and loaded his entire household, including some stuff that I had built, and were gone by 6:00 am.

I wonder if Acme finally sent him the bill for portable holes and anvils?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 21 Jun 2009, 22:23, 2 replies)

Something in that post doesn't quite tally
You mean it IS possible to get drunk on Coors Light?
(Armour Dillow, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 7:49, closed)

EMP Pulse Generator
A cow-orker has contacts in the Police service, and the Military [being ex-army himself] and was recalling a story recently where a chap from the Dartmoor area did indeed build an EMP generator in his back garden and detonated it.

Cue blackened ring in grass in back garden and rather perturbed neighbours on either side of his house.

Police arrived and told the avid inventor not to be so bloody stupid, but as they were feeling gracious that day - they didn't bust him for conspiracy to cause explosions. I'm sure this chaps neighbours were much less forgiving, as they'd had all their electrical items rendered useless....
(caescarna Hell's Roomba, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 11:55, closed)