I'm probably too off topic here,
But some things people do outdoors should be kept strictly indoors:

Walking up Portland Street in Manchester on my way home from work tonight. Literally every ten yards or so, someone had spat on the floor, been sick on the floor or pissed on the floor. It's fucking disgusting. People are fucking disgusting.

Every weekend I get into work, and some dirty bastard has pissed on the shutters, and the whole reception area stinks of it, and I have to mop it up.

Every week I consider hooking a car battery up to the shutter, but I can't because of something called "The Human Rights Act".

If you want to act like a fucking animal, you should get treated like one. If you want to get so fucked up that you spew up in the street, or you can't control your bladder enough to wait until you get home, then you deserve to get fucking electrocuted for pissing on my shutters. How the fuck would you like it if I came to where you work and pissed on your desk?

Sorry, I should probably rephrase that:

How the fuck would you like it if I came to where you work and pissed all over the shelves you were trying to stack?

Pricks.
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 3 Apr 2012, 0:50, 21 replies)

You know what you need to do?
Join the EDL or some other far-right paramilitary group - your freedom of speech and human rights will then trump everyone else's and you'll be free to be as bigoted, violent or downright psychopathic as you like without fear of any consequences.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 0:59, closed)

In all honesty,
I'm the sort of person democracy warns you about.
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 3 Apr 2012, 1:04, closed)

Yeah, looks like your life sucks.
Maybe you should have paid more attention in school and got yourself some decent qualifications. Then you might have got a job that doesn't require you to be a janitor.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 3 Apr 2012, 1:28, closed)

Close, but no cigar.
I'm a freelance editor and visual effects artist, and teach post production at one of the best colleges in the country. I mop up piss because I don't like my place of employment to smell of piss. If the caretaker was around on weekends he'd do it. Nice try though.
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 3 Apr 2012, 1:33, closed)

In that case, I'm sure that all of your students are upright sober citizens who wouldn't dream of getting pissed up on the weekends and pissing and puking all over the place.
I mean students NEVER behave like that.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 3 Apr 2012, 4:25, closed)

Most of them, yes.
We tend to get students who have already been to university and want to study a course with more focus on practical elements, so most of them are in their mid 20's or older by the time they reach us.

On top of which, if I ever saw any of my students pissing in the street, I would absolutely bollock them.
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:46, closed)

Hose always works for me.
Especially when you run out with it on full-bore @ 0300.
But seriously - I used to work at a bakery between a pub and a dodgy night club. The number of time the boss got called up in the middle of the night to deal with broken plate glass windows.
We put a life size cardboard cutout in the middle of the floor and backlit it.
Instantly halved our callouts. All we did after that was get a globe on 1 of those bulldog clip thingies and move the cutout around.
Didn't end it but certainly gave my boss many more sleep-filled nights.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:36, closed)

Thats actually a genius idea.

( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:42, closed)

Umm,
I'm a uni-educated numpty who works as a handyman and I run my own business.
Let me guess - you're middle management? Well done you!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:28, closed)

There must be something good
that keeps you living in a city of disgusting pigs. There are places that don't have piss and puke in the streets every morning, but they are probably boring.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 2:18, closed)

I moved here for the work
and nothing else. If I could do what I do, but live somewhere in the Lake District, miles away from the next living person, I would. In a heartbeat. Or Cornwall maybe. Somewhere were you only interact with other people when you need to.
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 3 Apr 2012, 2:27, closed)

Is it like this?

(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 3:08, closed)

Not far off actually.

( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 3 Apr 2012, 3:08, closed)

Let me get this straight.
People are jumping up and down defending strangers rights to piss puke and spit whenever they have drank enough for their judgment to become so warped as to warrant it.
(Gru being trolled since 1998, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 8:11, closed)

yes,
that actually seems to be the case.
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:43, closed)

Some kind of motion-activated security light/video camera combination?

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 8:10, closed)

Or an IR-activated recording of "The Wit and Wisdom of Simon Cowell"
...scares off most creatures with any kind of higher nervous system
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 8:57, closed)

That would work
were it not for the fact that the college I work at is located on one of the busiest pedestrian roads in Manchester, right in the centre. It'd be going off every 30 seconds.
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 3 Apr 2012, 12:44, closed)

Agreed. I hate cunts who do that sort of thing.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 9:46, closed)

What did you expect - you live in the Norf..
(anvil, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 13:39, closed)

Manchester
is wank.

Full of folk with delusions of adequacy.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Tue 3 Apr 2012, 16:29, closed)