I was attending my daughter's art class
a little while back. She goes to this pram-club with her mum, and sometimes I am boringly dragged along to see all the other parents. Don't get me wrong, it's good to see my daughter playing with others, but once she runs off to play with her friends I am left there to my own devices bored shiteless and looking like some kind of child-kidnapping material. Me daughter at some point settled down and painted some egg shells which were brought in this particular day.

So after an hour of dodgy looks from other parents this ends and we all pack up and leave. That particular day though parking in the area was a nightmare, as there was some press event happening locally, so the car was parked miles away. As we were hiking halfway back to the car though the missus realized that we had left my daughter's egg back in the club drying, and me daughter was playing up nagging for it. So for peace and quiet I told them to get to the car and I'll catch them up.

I run back, catch the caretaker before he locks up the little community hall used and run inside. There, by itself, is the egg with some monged blue smiley face stuck on the side. I carefully pick it up and vacate the building (I remember dropping an eggy fart in there too, it echoed lols).

I start making my way back up the road towards the car, when I suddenly spot a load of people standing by the pavement ahead, plus loads of flashing lights etc. Some bigwig in a suit was walking ahead through a plethora of cameras talking to everyone as if he was some kind of "People's Champion". Me not being one to miss out on stuff like this, I thought "Fuck it" and queued up with the other pedestrians. As the crowd are about to pass me I get a bright idea; I'm going to show him me daughter's mong egg. The cameras will fucking love this.

Only prob though was that I got a bit of an adrenalin rush, and as he walked passed I launched my arm out launching the egg at the cunt. He freaked and smacked me a beauty before a shiteload of people piled in and I was carted off by some bobbies.

I remember talking to the police about it afterwards, no charges were brought to him and the complaint that some fucker stood on me daughter's egg was never followed up. Now you try explaining that to a 3 year old :p

*might be complete bollocks*
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:58, 3 replies)

Clicked for the last line.

(Archeleus hates cabbage, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:01, closed)

^This

( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 22:00, closed)

"my daughter"
"my daughter's egg"
(Vlad the Inhaler forgot his password, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 11:56, closed)