Epic one from when I was in primary school.
It was fast approaching the annual school nativity where parents would take time off work to see their little kiddiwinkies wander around the stage wearing a tea towel and forget their lines about Mary speaking to an angel that’s delivered the news that god has got her pregnant.

As the teachers had a few years to get to know the kids all the good ones were given the main parts while the troublemakers and loudmouths were assigned the role of shepherds/ soldiers. I will admit that as I was in the bracket of kid that has the volume stuck at 11 and was therefore assigned to become a soldier hunting for children in the houses for Herod.

The idea of playing a small legionnaire should have been great for a small boy but I was a pissed off due to 2 reasons (1) Teacher had put me with the class mongs and all my good pals were shepherds and (2) Due to costume shortages for the soldiers I was stuck with the crappest outfit of the lot, with a worn out and funny smelling toga and armed with a shabby plastic yellow sheath of one of the other kids swords. Little me was not the happiest bunny and decided to voice my opinion. Naturally this fell on deaf ears due to the fact that the teachers were used to me and my voice so were probably wearing earplugs.

For the next few weeks I sulkily acted my part in rehearsals half heartedly pretending to knock on doors and ask people for their kids. It was only on the night of the performance that I came up with an idea to show the teachers what I could do and upgrade my costume myself. Unfortunately I had a pretty warped idea on how to upgrade my costume and decided that I would upgrade my costume the same way that Murphy was upgraded from a police man into Robocop. Yup I decide to become a cyborg in the nativity.

While all the teachers and carers were distracted dragging the shepherds onto stage I dragged a couple of my fellow legionnaires and made them attach a few pieces of sparkly foil from the craft table to my arms but in my opinion that wasn’t enough. I just looked like a bloke with tinfoil patches, I needed something more machine looking. Then I spotted it, the school computer a BBC one with two external tape drives on for cassettes and the other for disks that were floppy. From what I can remember they were used to play a couple of shitty text adventure games and our class could solve in next to no time after a few weeks of playing it.

I unhooked the keyboard and external cassette tape drive and held them in place while my two helpers used sticky tape to hold it in place on my body (keyboard – too big for me to put anywhere else on my little body) and arms (Tape drive on wrist with cable running up my arm). I looked cool, I imagined going on stage and everyone clapping at the inspired design. I could even press the eject button on the drive and pretend it had some recording device in it.

Sadly my plan was foiled instantly when our teacher came to collect us for our scene and I stuck out like… well like a badly built cyborg in a roman legion. Quite naturally I was given a pretty stern bollocking for nearly breaking valuable school property and my accomplices were also assigned detention for Sticking IT to the Mon. Yup that’s it another longwinded pun from me, flame away.

Dear lord, sorry about the length I tried to cut it down where I could have.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:51, 5 replies)

Brilliant
Some of your best work

*click*
(Psymon_Spark Jesus Saves! The rest of you take 4d6 damage, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:57, closed)

Thanks
Cheers Psymon
(mon bison powered by magnets, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 11:18, closed)

Does anybody actually pronounce the acronym for Information Technology...
as 'itt'? Cause this is the fourth or fifth similar pun I've seen, and all I can think of is: "Sticking eyetea to the man? Fail...".
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 11:14, closed)

Perhaps we should all
start referring to all "I.T." people as IT....maybe IT will catch on.
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 11:32, closed)

click
For it were funny.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 21:26, closed)