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This is a question Kids say the shittiest things

Smudge the Demon asks: Have your kids - or anyone else's - come out with something that provoked extreme laughter, embarrassment, fear or outrage? Tell us your little darlings' memorable sayings. It's like Take a Break's letters page, only with more swearing

(, Thu 23 May 2013, 15:28)
Pages: Popular, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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Queer confession
Whilst shopping in our local Aldi (in a post-modernist, comedically ironic and cool kind of way of course) my ten your old son wandered back to the trolley and mumbled, "Dad, I love man cheese..." I managed to keep my composure and screech, "You bloody what?" where upon he repeated his shockingly frank confession of being enamoured of 'man-cheese'. Thoughts of future football matches, drinking sessions and, eventually, grandchildren evaporated to be replaced by images of pristine bearded men in tight jeans discussing soft furnishings and butt-plugs. I managed to squeak out a pathetic, "but... you're only ten - how do you know?"

He looked at me with a mixture of incomprehension and contempt and said, "What are you on a bout? I love man cheese? NO! Isle of Man Cheese. Cheese from the Isle of Man you weirdo!"

I think I cried.

NB: They also sell Isle of Man milk and Isle of Man butter. Doubtless popular in places like Brighton.
(, Mon 27 May 2013, 20:22, 6 replies)
I never knew there was a Manx community in Brighton.
You live and learn, don't you!
(, Mon 27 May 2013, 23:15, closed)
Think of your interpretation
as a Freudian slip.
(, Tue 28 May 2013, 0:24, closed)

nice bit of homophobia here
(, Wed 29 May 2013, 1:11, closed)

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Pages: Popular, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1