A different sort of loved-and-lost.
I would imagine that there will be more of these stories from others, but I may as well go first.

I was involved with a woman- we'll call her Jan for the purposes of this story- who was a bit older than me. In retrospect it was perhaps a little too much of an age gap, but eleven years didn't seem to be too bad at the time.

How to describe her? She had blonde hair that she refused to brush, so it was always going in every direction. Her eyes were the pale blue of a china doll's eyes, and crinkled slightly when she smiled. She was a few inches shorter than me and had been battling her weight for years, so she was soft and curvy but in great shape from doing endless yoga. She was beginning to show her age, but she was still pretty enough to catch a man's eye on the street.

We had many similar interests and enthusiasms. Both of us are very good cooks, we both have an artistic side and can create beautiful things, we both loved to be outdoors as much as we could manage... our lives were running very much in parallel. And we both very much loved sex and seeing what we could do to each other to elicit more moans and gasps, so we were very sated most of the time.

I lived a distance from her, as she was out in the countryside in a rented cottage and I was in a city flat. She didn't always like coming to my flat because of the railway that ran a quarter mile away and the light pollution that meant that my bedroom was never truly dark, so most of the time I drove an hour to her cottage. We spent each weekend together and had a nicely idyllic life together for the better part of a year.

Then came the M word.

I would imagine that by now you may have gotten the impression that I'm not eager for big lifetime commitments. I tried gently explaining to Jan that while I loved the life we had together, the very thought of being bound to someone else made me want to run, fast and far. Why couldn't we just have things as they were?

The discussions got worse each time, and finally I could take no more. We ended it civilly, but we ended it.

That was five years ago.

I've seen her since. She has aged a bit more, but still has that big smile and the wild hair that I loved so dearly. She's living in a small cottage that she bought, with her three cats and a lot of beautifully crafted things that her touch has created. I've never asked if anyone has come into her life, but a woman like that shouldn't stay single for long.

I loved her and lost her, because I threw her away.

I still don't know if I made the right choice.
(Shimrod, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 18:21, 8 replies)

Christ that's depressing.
*goes off to re-evaluate life*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 14 Aug 2008, 18:39, closed)

That's so sad
And not in a pathetic lame way. More in a Brief encounter meets cassablanca way.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 18:49, closed)

That's the thing Shimrod
We, as blokes, don't like commitment, and as a result, we feel as if we are cornered into a situation like this.

I remember my current GF saying that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. I bloody shit myself as a result. She ignored me totally for two days straight. But, she did eventually understand the potential scariness of that statement.

Women before her, have usually been massively evil and fucked with my head. Until she came along and proved that they're not all evil malevolent witches.

Quite a touching story really, makes me nearly blub. Have a big fuck off clickerage mate.
(Panteneman Isn't entirely sure why he bothered on, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 18:50, closed)

Thank you.
I've had my share (and then some) of relationships, but that's the one that still makes me wonder. I've still not gotten even close to marriage, but I haven't found anyone who fit me quite as well as she did, either.

I guess that the answer is, if I had any question then I shouldn't have done it- therefore I made the right decision. I just hope that she found the right one for her.
(Shimrod, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 19:06, closed)

silly
why don't you ask her?
( seeballs Doo da da doo da da doo da da doo, da da doo da do, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 19:19, closed)

Poignant as ever Shimrod.
.
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 19:29, closed)

Jigsaw puzzles
Sometimes you may find out that you never find your exact match, and perhaps the imperfections in the relationship are as important as the parts that truly mesh.

I don't believe you have one "soulmate" or person you are supposed to be with, I mean, how could you possibly know. What I do believe though is that if you find someone you can be comfortable with, makes you happy, makes you miss them when they are apart and knows you and what makes you tick, then you're doing ok.

Good luck though mate.

L
(Lurkaloid awarded wanking black belt on, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 20:17, closed)

When I met the dear lady Obergruppenfuhrer
She said 'as soon as I saw you, I knew you were the man I'd marry'. She was right. However I'm drunk and frisky so I'm gonna pish in her bath and then put chilli sauce in her Immac.


I do not have issues.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 21:30, closed)