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This is a question Thrown away: The stuff you loved and lost.

Smash Wogan writes, "we all love our Mums, but we all know that Mums can be cunts, throwing out our carefully hoarded crap that we know is going to be worth millions some day."

What priceless junk have you lost because someone just threw it out?

Zero points for "all my porn". Unless it was particularly good porn...

(, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 16:32)
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Had it...lost it
Once upon a time, I was happy and well adjusted BK.
I waltzed through primary school, consistently top of my class and a great relationship with my Mum and Dad. I worked hard and was proud of it.
Some called me a swot, but it was water off a duck's back. I walked with my head held high. In short, I had dignity.

Then, at 15, I discovered alcohol. I liked the taste, and I liked how it made me feel. My dignity did not like it, however; not one bit. The more often I drank, the smaller my sense of dignity became, shrinking in on itself like a slug in a salt bath.

Since I began drinking I have abused my dignity far more than my liver.

I have, on various occasions:

Performed a Full Monty in front of 700 people;
Wandered through Middlesbrough dressed as Eminem, waving a plastic chainsaw at random passers-by;
Posted a picture of an erect Little-Boss under the bedroom door of my friend's housemate;
Dislocated my elbow staggering about at a festival and, in a Guiness-induced haze, attempted to relocate it myself;
Knocked myself out slipping on someone's vomit in a crowded pub;
Walked face-first into a lampost waving at a friend on the opposite side of the street;
Got myself and my friends kicked out of an Indian restaurant for abusing the waiters and spitting on the floor;
Slashed my wrist open punching a window;
Told my dear Mum to fuck off during a Southern-Comfort fuelled screaming match with my ex-wife at my 21st;
Woke up gaffa taped to an office chair outside a tent;
Woke up in my friend's laundry hamper;
Been jumped by four scallies when stumbling home one evening, and came off best;
Paid a prostitute in advance, realised what I was doing, and then ran away;
Abused an old woman in a pub when she told me to stop swearing;
Called the University women's football team a pack of screaming rug-muchers when they were sat at the table behind me;
Stuck my dick over my friend's top lip when She was passed out, and taken a picture;
Woke up on my sofa with a morning glory and a sprained ankle, being grinned at by my housemate's girlfriend;
Managed to kick a bouncer in the head while being dragged out of a nightclub after losing heavily in a punch-up.

And this is just to name a few.

In conclusion, My Dignity 1980-1995. RIP.
(, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 19:18, 4 replies)
Clicks in sympathy
(, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 19:20, closed)
I have never lost my dignity in all my life.
I've just tucked it away out of place now and then for safe keeping : )
(, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 19:28, closed)
I woke up under a rug one night at my mates (one bedroom and one couch-and I'm not getting either of them) house.

Got up and walked home early-ish that morning, got home, started to strip for a shower, and realised I was wearing about five pairs of his boxers. Must've got cold in the night!

He's an ex-Royal Marine and took it well, much better than the night I woke up while pissing on him.
(, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 22:41, closed)
Woke up while pissing on him
My ex wife's best friend's husband did come round from a drunken stupor to find he was pissing on his own son, who was about 2 at the time.
Can't claim that level of dignity-loss really.
(, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 23:27, closed)

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