My mum
My mum wasn't really the best person to have custody of a small child. She's much better now, but *really* couldn't understand how the littluns worked, and has passed down her fear and hatred of them to me.

I used to have a childminder during the day, as both my parents worked long hours. She in turn had her own brat one year younger than me, for whom the sun shone out of her arse. She. Was. Evil.

This kid used to absolutely torment me, threw dog shit at me, gave me at least one black eye a month by hitting me in the face with whatever toys she had, and absolutely refused to let me play on her gameboy. But due to my one year advantage, everything was my fault as "I was old enough to know better".

Sooo, seeing as my mum was a teacher, I was shipped off to day camps so that she could have a bit of peace and quiet during the holidays. One holiday, I turned up, and there was Damien herself, in my group. So I did what any self respecting child would do, and screamed my head off demanding that I be taken home. Which was duly done.

But obviously this disturbage could not go unpunished. I loved my soft toys. I was an only child, and I used to have conversations with them late into the night. I really thought they were real people. So my mum went into my room, bagged *everything* up, locked me in my room, and took them all to the charity shop.

You should see the size of her guilt complex these days.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 15 Aug 2008, 19:21, 6 replies)

however...
as much as i feel your pain there is nothing worse than meeting some gorgeous temptress with cheekbones you could do yourself a mischief on - you tumble into her boudoir only to find a pile of plushies on the bed that could stock a disney store

!
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 15 Aug 2008, 20:20, closed)

@spimf
i can't understand why some women have soft toys everywhere, they're slightly creepy. not as creepy as porcelain dolls, though. i don't even want to be in the same house as porcelain dolls.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 15 Aug 2008, 21:45, closed)

agreed
my wife has had two for 20 years that even she doesn't like if shes honest but her mum gave them to her - they surfaced recently while we were clearing out a cupboard - only the fact we are packing stuff to be shipped to dubai allowed me to finally bin the creepy bastards - naturally i still had a sly look at their pants - i am a bloke after all
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 9:52, closed)

hahaha!
my mate had a porcelain clown doll, so it was doubly creepy. when we went out on the piss, she'd wait for me to fall asleep, then put this monstrosity at the end of my bed, so it would be the first thing i saw when i woke up.
got less funny every time she did it.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 11:24, closed)

A bit excesive, I thought.
Trashing something your kid loves to teach them a lesson is just nasty.

Or possibly she was just freaked out by the whole "converations with teddy" thing.
(Big D, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 13:08, closed)

I would like to add
I was only about 6 when it happened. So not quite the same.


*adds that she owns no soft toys these days*
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 16 Aug 2008, 13:35, closed)