My pal
...is a generous sort of chap. The kind of fella that lent me a huge amount of cash and said "pay it back when you can" (I still owe him a wedge). The kind of bloke that said to his mate "Money troubles? Come and stay at mine for free, after all I've got an empty spare room..."

So in he moved. The months started rolling by, and gradually, the piss started being taken. Food disappeared. Beer was greedily consumed, yet replacements were not forthcoming. All the weed was mysteriously 'lost'. Excuses were aplenty, but all were poor.

So one evening when the two of them were sat in the warmth of my pal's house, watching my pal's TV, He turned to his mate and asked "mind if I nick one of your beers buddy?" his friend replied: "Nah, I've only got one more left after this one".

Apparently he still can't grasp how that lit the fuse which managed to earn him a 3am antiquing, followed by a smack in the mouth, followed by him being thrown, spunk-sodden inflatable mattress in tow, onto the cold hard streets of Norwich.

Serve him right. The cnut.
(toomanydecibels has bleeding ears on, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:42, 7 replies)

This dude
sounds like a right freeloading twunt.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:54, closed)

What's...
... an antiquing?
(SimianKid internet faffer, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:00, closed)

yes
please do tell.
( pregnantfridge, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:50, closed)

Antiquing...
...is throwing a bag of flour at someone when they're asleep so they look dusty like an antique.
(Angry Beaver, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:13, closed)

and this happens so often
it needed it's own verb! Well I never
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:40, closed)

woo hoo !
That is the way to do it. The fuckwit deserved it and all the misery that came after.
( pregnantfridge, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:50, closed)

The guy on the couch...
We had two, and they were nice enough, but the day came when #1: ate my favorite cheese, all of it, on a sandwich, and #2: his mates came in and drank a bottle of alcohol a good friend of mine gave me as a going-away present that she had bought in Germany and had saved for me, and that I had been saving for our possible meeting-again.
Out they went, in the cold hard streets - and I later found #2 had broken my Playstation.
(aeon chicken Like the Millenium Falcon, only slower and noisier, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 20:26, closed)