Pure stinge
Ok, so we’ve got this lad at work. He is literally the tightest person I have come across over the 19 years of existence on this planet.

His day goes like this.

Morning - He'll wake up, not drink anything before he gets to work, where he'll pour himself a PINT glass of the offices milk. Fair enough a small glass, but a pint?!?!
Also, back in the day when he had some muscle growth formula he would mix it up at work, with the works milk. BTW, when this muscle powder crap ran out, he then went to a boiled egg every morning, or chicken (see lunchtime) because it’s cheaper than this muscle stuff.
The chicken is now out the window, asda tinned smart price tuna is cheaper. No sauce, no sweet corn, straight out the tin.

Lunchtime - This is the worst. He drives, but he would use every excuse not to. Whenever someone goes to asda, he will hop in with them. Now, he has NEVER drove somewhere at lunchtime in the whole year he's been working here.

Evening - He'd go home, have his dinner then get his Mrs. round to watch him play Xbox, because he is too tight to take her out (see Valentines Day).

Valentines Day - Cost him £12. He’s been with his bird for like 2 years. He brought Valentines Day for them forward so he could use orange Wednesdays to take her to the cinema and then all you can eat at pizza hut.

Pub - He’d come along, have various rounds bought for him over the weeks, when it came to his round, he'd buy a maximum of 4 pints even though he’s had a drink off everyone for the last 10. Failing that, he’d come pub with no money, and expect someone to bail him out. As soon as we sussed him on this, he’d not come along because he knows it’s his round. This has been going on for months.

Meeting leftovers - He’d ALWAYS be the first downstairs to grab a plate full of leftovers.

Birthday tradition in the office is to buy the cakes. He counted everyone in the office and bought them all an iced finger.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a sound guy, just if he was any tighter he wouldn’t be able to shit.

There is more, just writing this has hurt me so much.
(NegCheg fap fap fap, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:57, 9 replies)

Talking of stingy
How much would a working ' key cost you?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:21, closed)

Win
I agree with that!
( commiegirl21 Can't think of anything witty on..., Fri 24 Oct 2008, 19:40, closed)

Erm,
as much as a new keyboard?

''''.
(NegCheg fap fap fap, Sun 26 Oct 2008, 17:24, closed)

Reading this
has been pretty fucking painful too.

He'll

and he hasn't driven anywhere.

and He'd of course.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 20:18, closed)

Woohoo!
And I thought I was the only one here pedantic enough to be so annoyed by that :)

Please.. I do wish people would take the time to write properly. It's not like you're coming up to your character limit in an SMS and therefore need to conserve space.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 20:40, closed)

Tuna and sweetcorn
I keep reading this and it must be a typo. Tuna (to me, anyway) is a can of tuna, drained, mushed up and mixed with a dollop of mayo or salad cream, depending on your preference. Some people like a little minced onion in it, others like a litttle minced sweet pickle, some both or none.
You then smear it on some bread with a little mayo or miracle whip (US brand salad cream)and lettuce. In the South, it is not uncommon to have it with crisps instead of lettuce.
In the MidWest, many times people will cover it with cheddar cheese, toast it and eat it open-faced as a "tuna melt". I think it's a leftover Scandinavian thing from the pioneer days.

So are actually teling me in Britain tuna is mixed with corn? Canned corn, cut-off-a-cob corn? In with the tuna and mayo?
Please someone, tell me the truth, I can take it....
sob
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 21:10, closed)

Yes
Us wacky Brits really do that, and it's lovely, thankyou very much, and it's a darn sight healthier than having it with crisps.
(bobman500 enjoys a grope as much as the next fella, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 22:38, closed)

What about tuna and cucumber?
Is that weird, too? That's common in the UK and is a much nicer combination, I think...
(Ovaltina, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 2:03, closed)

Sounds like he's trying to pay off his mortgage in 10 years...
... as per the advice of yer man off moneysavingexpert.com.
(Cryptoprocta has abandoned the username of Voodoo Mary, Sat 25 Oct 2008, 0:04, closed)