Yeah
that's it, keep going. Bertie's been a naughty little girl.

Lock me in the coal shed, fist my anus, tie me to the radiator and beat me while we listen to 'Lady in Red' on repeat.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 16:26, 1 reply)

enoughs enough
I'm reporting you to the BBC's trust or whatever the cunt it was that got Brand done. They'll put an end to this. You'll never be on Radio again after this. You'll probably only ever work for the very lucrative commercial stations, channel 4, several publishers and still continue to fuck anyone you want whilst simulataneously not giving a shit. Youre FUCKED.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 16:31, closed)

AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE....!

I'm not on the radio, I'm on the b3ternet :(

You don't have to fist my anus, but I know you want to really.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 16:33, closed)

I am DISGUSTED
I am not paying my b3ta licence fee until this filth is removed. Even though I haven't read it. The Daily Mail told me it was DISGUSTING though.
(Binary Solo loves a bit of algebra, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 16:39, closed)

Oh it was disgusting
but he was smiling the whole way through it. Smiling like a wanking chimp. And then he threw it through the bars of the radiator into my face. My FACE! Some of it went in my mouth. The taste made my winky feel funny like when I see Kate Garroway on the television.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 16:43, closed)

Mmmm...
Kate Garroway.

She sure got a wide mouth, I wonder how many cheese straws she could fit in there?

I'd proper felch that Penny Smith too.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 16:48, closed)

Penny Smith
would be teh filth, she'd want it front, back sideways and downwards all at the same time. She'd be smearing rotting whale blubber all over herself screaming "DO ME HARDER, HARDER YOU BITCH, HARDER"
(Bazongaloid, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 17:38, closed)

Too right she would
and she'd be saying it all out of one side of her face, that way she always seems to talk, and I'd be all like, 'Yeah, Penny, you filthy bitch, you love it.'
and she'd all be like, 'LOLZ Bert, you done gone had a spaff in my eyes. Mind the cat,' and then she'd produce a Tabby from her rancid flesh hole.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 17:47, closed)

*sings*
Penny Smith is in my ears, and in my eyes. There, beneath the blue suburban swingers' club.

*daydreams*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 17:56, closed)

Start a campaign to have me banned
I'd really like that, please? Oh, go on?

I'll sleep with your granddaughter...? -or if you don't have one, or even any kids of your own yet, I guess I'll just have to rape your ovaries.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 16:51, closed)

Leave my poor innocent ovaries alone
Just cos you can see them half-naked on EggySluts.com
(Binary Solo loves a bit of algebra, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 17:05, closed)

... clap your hands!
oh are we not playing that game anymore?
(bobming, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 17:25, closed)

Eggysluts.com?
You're so cheap! I prefer the more sophisticated semi-dressed reproductive organs of thisiswhereyourbabiescomefrom-mysnatch.org
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 17:48, closed)