Mental illness runs in our family
This is going to sound like the start of a really bad Mother-in-Law joke, but it’s true.

My grandmother is a paranoid schizophrenic.

She hears voices, is convinced that the police are after her and has had to be sectioned twice for both her own safety and the safety of those around her. She is thus, through no other reason than faulty brain chemistry, Queen of the land known as Conspiracy Theory (Population: her).

However recently, she has also developed dementia.

When her psychiatrist, who is a touch humourless but an all round lovely bloke, told my Mother and I that sadly Gran’s mental health was likely to deteriorate much more rapidly than we’d anticipated due to her senility, I, without thinking (another trait that runs in our family) opened my mouth and said…

“Well, at least this way next time when the voices tell her to kill someone, she’ll have forgotten by the time she gets the kitchen knife out the drawer…”

My Mum looked aghast. Then later admitted that she was trying not to laugh as she thought a little bit of wee might come out.

At least that’s what I think she said…

*dons tinfoil hat*
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 17:52, 7 replies)

*high fives Rakky*
*giggles and clicks*

*also descends from a Radio Rental family*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 22:49, closed)

This caused a coffee on screen incident
Cheers for perking me up on a loooooooonnnnnnnggggggggg Friday morn!
( SpankyHanky, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 10:13, closed)

I like mental people
just signed up for a councelling course, your nana gets a click for living in a crazy world. Coincidentally does she look like a gypsy, in my head she looks like a gypsy.
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 11:38, closed)

Scarily
She's the absolute spit of Margaret Thatcher...
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:00, closed)

does she read tarot cards too...?
I love pikeys they sharpen knifes really well and I've never had a peg last as long as the last one I brought from the women with the lucky heather
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 12:38, closed)

I wouldn't trust her
with knives to be honest.

I doubt she's ever gone near a pack of tarot cards. Store cards and credit cards, certainly.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 13:03, closed)

I would like to date you
I think that you standa good chance of turning out like your nan and I like a little crazy in my women
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 15:24, closed)