The Man with the Names
He has a little caravan that he sets up in the Ironmarket, selling batteries, fixing watch straps, and so on. I'd heard the stories - stories about how he'd come to the UK as a child having survived the death-camps; about how he was actually a chartered accountant; about how he was, frankly, dangerous; about how he was a bit touché; and about how he had an extraordinary name. The last of these I know to be true, and it leads me to believe the next-to-last.

I was sitting in the waiting-room to see the doctor when he walked in.
He asked to make an appointment. The receptionist asked him if he was registered there. He said he was.
"What's the name, please?"
He gave a pretty normal name. Not English, but normal.
The receptionist had a quick look. "There's nothing coming up here under that name..."
"Ah, yes," he said. "I'm sorry. I forgot to say: I changed my name by deed poll, so it might be that your records have my other name. I wasn't sure whether I'd updated everything..."

The receptionist gave him a get-on-with-it look. "So what's the name I should be looking for?"
"Yes. Well, the surname is Staffordshirepolicecorruption. The first name is Campaigntoexpose."

See? The last rumour seems to be true, and it lends credence to the one before it.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 9:10, Reply)