cherry stones and goldfish
When i was a little Spimf I loved to potter around the garden at my grandmothers. She had a beautiful garden with wild brambles, a goldfish pond and a lovely old cherry tree at the bottom of the lawn. God I loved that tree. The cherries are still to this day the best thing i have ever tasted. Nothing beats spitting cherry stones into a goldfish pond on a sunny day when you are 8 years old. One day i was most interested to see Archie, the old gardener chap, who had a face like leather with heavily lined scrunched up eyes from the ever present roll-up that wafted smoke in his craggy face. Archie was slowly pumping pressure into on old fashioned brass plant-spray canister. His arms were as brown as chestnuts and had faded old Navy tattoos dotted all over them from his exploits around the world.

Ever the inquisitive child, i asked brightly what he was up to. Archie looked wearily down at me smiled and took a puff of his roll-up, this made it bob up and down but still remained firmly fixed to his bottom lip.

"Trees got moss son, needs to be sprayed."

"Why" i asked.

Old Archie explained it kept the tree fresh and free from moss - a bit like spraying deodorant under your arms.

This stuck with me.

A few weeks later my Gran came out to the garden to see me merrily spraying away at the ancient old cheery tree with a can of 'Sure' deodorant pinched from the bathroom. She wasn't angry with me she knew too how much i loved that old tree. In fact, it was my moss tree Sured possession.

.
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 14 May 2008, 15:15, 10 replies)

ba-dum - TSH!
I believed every word until the last line...
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 14 May 2008, 15:33, closed)

*Spangs*
I'm sorry, but i have to pun-ish you for that one.

*Slinks away*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 14 May 2008, 15:34, closed)

thanks guys
thats so sweet, do you guys sit side by side posting away there

;-D
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 14 May 2008, 15:37, closed)

Sometimes
but not today - I'm at work, she's at home and it was pure coincidence that we both replied at the same time :-)
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 14 May 2008, 15:38, closed)

Superbly Done!
That's the first pun I've ever read on here which I thought was a real story right up until the pun itself.
(stubbledchin, Wed 14 May 2008, 15:40, closed)

cheers stubbley
:)
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 14 May 2008, 15:44, closed)

SUREly...
Pun of the month.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Wed 14 May 2008, 15:45, closed)

Spimf
If there was a QOTW pun-down I would vote you the winner by a country mile
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Wed 14 May 2008, 16:25, closed)

Excellent
how long did that take to think through?

*click*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 14 May 2008, 16:33, closed)

kiss me where i poo
that'll learn you to ask for (admittedly awful) puns!
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 14 May 2008, 23:42, closed)