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This is a question Twat Friends

BraynDedd tugs our sleeve and asks: "You know the one, the mate who is guaranteed to ruin every social situation by being an embarrassment/sexist/racist/bellend etc. Tell us about your twattiest mate."

(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:50)
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This is really getting annoying.
I have a friend... well, maybe that's too strong a word, someone that I know and sometimes help out. Fuck, let's be honest, I help him out more than he deserves.

He considers himself a real hard man, an alpha male, someone to be respected. To make himself feel that way he really abuses weaker people- his family, his employees, basically anyone he comes into contact with who can't strike back very effectively at him.

I know what he's trying to do with this. In some strange way he's trying to imitate me. On some level I suppose that's flattering, but he's not really pulling it off. I mean, I made my own way up in the world, where he's the son of a rich guy who handed him a career and doesn't really know how to handle it. He's gotten power mad and doesn't know when to use restraint.

I put up with the silly bastard because it's in my best interests, as he has associates that I find useful at times, but it's really getting tiresome to come to his rescue all the time. He knows that he can drop my name and get results, which is starting to make me look like a twit.

Recently, however, he's pushed it to new heights. He's broken the law pretty seriously, may have in fact killed some innocent people, got caught and is now on trial. The prosecuting attorney has called for the harshest penalties he can, though the jury has not been terribly sympathetic. It looked like he was going to get pretty harsh treatment, so I reluctantly stepped in and tried to convince the prosecuting attorney that this was a bad idea, that the jury would be against him and he would merely damage his reputation. He didn't want to listen to me, so I made my case before the jury loud and clear in his presence. The prosecuting attorney saw the way the wind was blowing and backed down a bit, but my friend still isn't out of the woods yet. The judge has yet to reach a verdict, and is calling for more evidence.

I'm getting to my wit's end with this ass clown. I've probably done all I can legally to help him, so now I have to sit back and see what happens. If the evidence turns out against him I may have to address the judge myself, maybe even represent the twat despite his being a reprehensible human being. I'm trying my best to make a deal with the prosecution as they know damn well that this could get ugly and really cost them, but they've put their asses on the line this time and don't want to face the embarrassment of backing down and letting me deal with this idiot. Given a choice I'd probably send him up the river, but I don't think I can really afford that at this point as his associates are not really that stable either.

I really wish I could wash my hands of the entire ugly affair, but I'm stuck with it. I'll keep casting doubts before the judge and jury, but it's not looking too good for the twat at the moment...

Yours,
Vlad P.
(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:40, 2 replies)
RIS?

(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:45, closed)
I may have been too obscure.
I was referring to Assad.

EDIT: no, I was getting confused, thinking for a moment of Yeltsin. My apologies.
(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:51, closed)
Haha. Syria. Pffft.

(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 19:00, closed)

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