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This is a question Twat Friends

BraynDedd tugs our sleeve and asks: "You know the one, the mate who is guaranteed to ruin every social situation by being an embarrassment/sexist/racist/bellend etc. Tell us about your twattiest mate."

(, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 10:50)
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My brother's mate, "Donut".
I think I told this before, so apologies if it sounds familiar. Not so much "ruining every social occasion", as just being a bit of a nob. He's an expert at saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and stopping a conversation in its tracks, however that's all my brother has told me about that side of him. He prefers to regale me with tales of Donut's comedy exploits, such as:

Arranging a night out, then phoning my brother from the pub and angrily asking where everyone was - to be told "We've arranged it for next week, mate!".

Making his way through a busy pub (Scenarios in Halstead, fact fiends) on his way to the toilet, asking people "Excuse me please, coming through, 'scuse me" etc, only to call "Look out mate, coming through" to someone he was about to cross paths with, who completely ignored him - because it was in fact his own reflection in a wall-length mirror.

And my personal favourite - running on a treadmill at the gym, deciding he was a bit too hot, and taking his sweatshirt off, while still running. He managed to get it caught over his head, lost his balance, and stepped sideways - off the treadmill. Before he could stop he'd to run into the weights room - still with his sweatshirt over his head. Through sheer blind luck he managed not to run into anyone or anything... the thought of that one still cracks me up :)
(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 13:50, 16 replies)
Did he shout "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!" in an attempt to save face?
(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 13:57, closed)
Hahahaha, clickin' dat :D

(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 13:58, closed)
"Scenarios" is a truly terrible name for a pub.

(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:01, closed)
It's not the best.
Reasonable boozer though
(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:13, closed)
I disagree. I think it's a fantastic name.
I assume the dress code is massive shoulder-padded suits with the sleeves rolled up, Ray Ban shades, massive hair, and dayglo socks worn with white tassled loafers, and that the entire soundtrack is Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet and Axel F only.
(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:15, closed)
I can't think of Axel F without Family Guy now...
(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:17, closed)
None of this is what I'd expect from a pub.
A themed nightclub, or niche gay bar, perhaps, but not a pub.
(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:21, closed)
To be fair, I think it likes to think of itself as a "bar", rather than a pub...
(Or at least, the management does. I don't think the place itself is sentient)
(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:36, closed)
I bet they serve Harvey Wallbangers.

(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 15:40, closed)
If there were a pub with this theme,
I would totally go to it. Just saying.
(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 15:43, closed)
You are unfamiliar with Reflex
I presume? Good night out. I have never been to the London one. I once got kicked out of the Worcester branch after a friend lurched off the dancefloor and threw up over an office party's table, though.

(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 16:04, closed)
Found out about it about half an hour ago, thanks to Google.
I haven't lived in the UK for the past six years, but if I were back in London, I'd definitely give it a go. Normally I hate clubland for its insistence on playing music at a bajillion decibels, with the result that I have to wear earplugs and can't engage in conversation with anyone the entire evening, but an entire evening of 80s tunes would probably be enough to make me thing "fuck it" and just dance like nobody's watching. Probably just as well, as I dance like Worzel Gummidge being tasered.
(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 16:11, closed)
It's very much like that
I think you're pretty much guaranteed some Rick Astley, Human League, and Duran Duran.
(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 16:18, closed)
Men AND women.

(, Sun 22 Sep 2013, 14:05, closed)
How do you run "off" a treadmill?
In my admittedly limited experience they have a kind of barrier thing enclosing the front of them.
(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 15:31, closed)
I thought that too...
However I too am no treadmill expert
(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 16:00, closed)

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