I've met many a twat in my life
but one encounter sticks in my mind, for some particular reason. I certainly met bigger twats than this person, but this one just irritated me in a particularly special way.

A couple of years ago I was doing technical support at the college I work at in the evenings. This basically involved me sitting on reception waiting for people to ask me for help. I would also be the first point of contact for people walking in off the streets. Sadly.

And so, at 6:50pm, a woman walks in to enquire about the courses we run. She was around 40, and your typical sort of middle class privileged hippie type. The conversation went like this:

Me: hi, are you ok there?

Woman: Yeah, what is this place?

Me: We're a media training college, offering course in post production for film and TV.

Woman: Oh right, is there someone I can talk to about courses?

Me: I'll be able to give you any information you need on our film and TV courses, also we have a prospectus here that you can take that has all the information you need in it.

Woman: Who is the head of department?

Me: Richard is the head of department.

Woman: Can I speak to him?

Me: I'm sorry, but he's about to teach a class [our classes start at 7pm]. If you've got any questions about the courses though, I'll be happy to answer them.

Woman: But it won't take a minute. I'd rather speak to him. Can I not just go up and talk to him?

Me: I'm sorry but he's preparing for a lesson. If you'd like to make an appointment I'll-

Woman: He's in the building?

Me: Yes.

Woman: Then I'll just go and speak to him.

At this point she started walking towards the lift. I got up.

Me: I'm sorry, but if you want to speak to him, you'll have to make an appointment. He's literally teaching a class in 10 minutes.

Woman: This won't take 10 minutes.

Me: That's fine, but the reason I'm not letting you go up and talk to him is because A) he's currently preparing for the class he's about to teach, and B) I have no idea who you are. All guests have to be signed in by a student of member of staff before we let them into the building.

Woman: So you're saying, he's up there right now, and I want to speak to him for a minute and ask some questions, but you won;t let me? Have I got that right?

Me: Yes.

At this point she was getting quite agitated.

Woman: Wow. Ok. Wow. That's... OK, fine. You're not going to let me in the building?

Me: No I'm not.

At this point she goes towards the lift again. I have to physically block her path by standing in front of it.

Woman: Why should I have to make an appointment when he's in the building now? Why can't I just go and talk to him now?

Me: I've explained to you why. I'm going to have to ask you to leave the building now please.

She was about ready to boil at this point.

Woman: SERIOUSLY? You're removing me from the building?

Me: No, I'm asking you to leave. but I will remove you from the building if I have to.

Woman: Wow, Ok. Don't worry about it then, I'll leave. I'll go. What's your name please?

Me: Why do you want to know my name?

Woman: If I ask you your name you have to tell it me. I have a right to know your name.

Me: No, you don't. I don't have to tell you anything. You're thinking of the police.

In the most patronising tone of voice I have ever heard -

Woman: Noooooooo, if I ask YOU for your NAME, then YOU have to GIVE it to ME.

Me: No, I assure you I don't. But if it'll make you leave then my name is *PMGT*.

Woman: Right. I'm going now, but just so you know, I'm going to phone back and make a complaint about you. You haven't been very helpful at all.

----

Immediately after this conversation, I sent an email to the relevant people explaining the situation and telling them not to give her the time of day.

She phoned back the next day, and I happened to answer it. She started complaining about me, to me, not realising that it was me on the phone. Her complaints seemed to be "he wouldn't let me do what I wanted to do". I pretended to be someone else and explained, very slowly, that "as we are a college, we have strict rules about people entering the building. You were not willing to comply with those rules so *PMGT* had to remove you from the building. From his account, you were entirely unreasonable when he offered to help and instead tried to actually push past him and essentially force your way into the building, at which point he asked you to leave. I'm sorry, but we will not be looking into your complaint".

The problem here seemed to me that she was the kind of twat that had never had anyone say "no" to her in her life. She came across like a spoilt teenager, despite being around 40 years old (although I dare say she was a lot older, and just looked around 40, as many of these privileged hippie types tend to do...). That combined with the fact that she obviously didn't deem me worthy enough to speak to because I was sat behind a reception desk (despite actually being one of the tutors on the course...). She had clearly walked in, and decided that she was so important that the only person qualified enough to speak to her was the person who ran the whole department. Not one of us lowly scumbags that run the place.

Frankly, I felt embarrassed just to have to engage her in conversation. Had I not been at work, I dare say the conversation would been much shorter, and would have ended with me saying "STOP ACTING LIKE A FUCKING SPOILT BRAT YOU STUPID FUCKING STUCK UP ARROGANT PATRONISING BITCH-COW FROM HELL. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING BUILDING BEFORE I KICK YOU UP THE ARSE."
( PMGT -Bacon., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 14:23, 8 replies)

I refer you to the "basically twats" post yesterday
I had to stop reading this in the fourth sentence because of it.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 15:22, closed)

Because I used the word "basically" once in an entire post?
OK. That's some good quality control you've got going on there.

And reading back, the use of the word "basically" was entirely in context. That is basically what I did. There's more to it than that, but in it's basic form I was sitting behind a desk waiting for people to ask me for help.

And now I've used the word "basically" an additional four times now because of your comment.

You really do bring it on yourself.
( PMGT -Bacon., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 15:47, closed)

I found myself
feeling somewhat indignant on your behalf, so he can basically get stuffed.
(username failed moderation, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 15:52, closed)

I work for a provider of adult training courses
It should be pointed out that 99.9% of the general public are lovely but it never ceases to amaze me the brass neck of some people. They seem to think that just because you work in a public facing role, you are public property.

For example, the other day, i had a woman come to get advice about courses. I was sort of in the middle of setting up a test for another student so I said, "if you'd like to wait in reception for 5 minutes" when I am finished I will come and see you.

I go about setting up the test for the other student when who should come barging through the door but the same lady.

She says, "You said you would take only 5 minutes, it is now 6 minutes, and if you don't come soon it will be 7 minutes then 8!"

I nearly lost my customary cool.

Anyway, after talking to her for a bit, it turned out that she had anger management issues and was doing an assertiveness course to help her. I was her guinea-pig apparently. I explained that she had probably crossed that fine line between assertiveness and rudeness.
(Nitrous Nitrous, Sat 14 Apr 2012, 9:25, closed)

Ha!
Amazing. I've had similar experiences to that. Saying "suchabody will be with you in a minute" and then watching as that person mentally counts to 60 in their head. I've started just saying "he'll be with you shortly" instead...
( PMGT -Bacon., Sat 14 Apr 2012, 11:10, closed)

That must be where I'm going wrong.
Maybe next time I'll say, "be with you shortly", then go to lunch.
(Nitrous Nitrous, Sat 14 Apr 2012, 19:31, closed)

Bath is full
of these people. I take pleasure in the look on their smug faces when they realise that no, I'm not stepping into traffic so that Tarquin can keep twirling and shouting.
( uncle bastard is twanging a dan moi, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 7:47, closed)

My work place...
..is full of people like this. You described them perfectly. Click.
( Evil Bastardo, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:48, closed)