Twats at gigs
I too suspect there is an international cabal of twats, who target me at gigs.

Firstly there are the twats who insist, beyond all reason, to go buy two pints and then struggle back through the absolutely rammed venue to their "mate at the front". Except, the feckers get to me, and spill it on me. No one else, just me. They have barged through 3000 other people and not spilled a fricking ounce.

Then there are the couple who want to conduct a domestic in front of me.

Or the couple that are wearing rucksacks

Then there is the dude, who will be standing behind me, who even at a packed concert gets just a little too up close and personal, and is jumping all over me. No one else, just me.

Finally, the two biggest guys at the venue will stand directly in front of me. I could be at the front, way at the back, at the bar, even at the stalls in the gents!

Amongst my friends this has become legend, and no, it is not just me being a mentalist. And it is not just gigs, it could be the kids panto! Just some folk are assholes when it comes to public events and have no idea of the bounds of behaviour
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 9:52, 7 replies)

Your friends are just being
kind.

You are mental.
(username failed moderation, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:23, closed)

hahahaha
Honestly, I did wonder this, and my mates thought I had some sort of personality defect, but over the last 25 years they have realised that I do seem to attract these twats, and even play a pre-gig game, looking at the punters milling about, where they pick the people who will spill the cider & black down me.
They never got it right yet, but my mates have stopped laughing at me for bringing a spare tshirt for the car going home
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:40, closed)

and as for the dude behind me...
I went to see a band at the Shepherds Bush Empire a few years ago.
The statutory domestic occured right in front of me, which resulted in the guy staggering away from his missus, barging into me and my missus, and off to the bar in a huff.

He then proceeded to check in with her every 10 minutes, barging through the crowd and pushing me out of the way, then back again to the bar, every fucking single time.

Eventually I told him to fuck off, and he then stood brooding behind me and my gf.

So he turned into the "inappropriately close dude" behind me, dancing into me, leaning on me, hands on my shoulders and the occassional dig in the ribs. I let this go on for 20 minutes before I span round, grabbed the fucker by the shoulders and swept his legs out from underneath him. The red mist then quickly lifted when I realised I had just about wasted some over-enthusiastic effeminate man, who had been dancing just a little too vigourously.

I am now standing over him, with clenched fist. He is crapping it on the flor sheilding his face and his partner is pleading with me not to hit him.

Guess who was the twat now?

The Other dude, Mr Domestic, had fucked off to the bar again. I never saw him after that, may be he had seen me freak out and thought better of it.

I spent the next 5 minutes apologising
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:50, closed)

Dude.
Get a set-top box and a dvd player. Live music & you just don't seem to agree.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:52, closed)

I love live music
I just cant see why everyone else isnt getting lager spilt down them or has the two 7ft dudes stuck infront of them.

It is always me :(
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 10:54, closed)

It really isn't.
(Smysha Tra la la!, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 12:10, closed)

I understand this, but sadly I have been the tosser with a bag three times recently, as the venue either didn't have anywhere to put the bag, or didn't expect many people to have bags
Meaning that they ran out of room rather quickly.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 12:37, closed)