The twat twatted her clean in the twat.
Ladies and gentlemen: a pearost


I was once in one of Newcastle's classier* late night drinking establishments, of which there are many. It was a Wednesady night, which was student night. The particular special of the night was double vodka and cokes for £1.50. Now, myself and my esteemed colleagues (more about them in other posts if I can muster the courage) were not that fussy about the nature of the beverage, as long as it was cheap, so vast quantities of vodka and coke were purchased and drunk. Repeat....

Anyway, we were by no means the only people acceeding to the "let's get absolutely wankered on cheap russian falling over water". There were many ladies present, mostly being perved over by my mates. I took the opportunity to leave and have a slash. The toilets were off a short corridor from the main dancefloor. As I entered said corridor, a refreshed young lady came towards me, slipped and fell over. However...

1: Her legs went in opposite directions.
2: One heel got stuck in a crack between a floortile and the wall.
3: The other shoe went flying off.
4: She split her gusset.

So, there she was, lying in the birthing position, clunge on view to the general public, crying copiously.

So one of my mates (who had earlier been chatting her up) runs over.

...slips....

and manages to kick her clean in the flange.

We left.





*not really
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Tue 17 Apr 2012, 11:02, 10 replies)

A top pea all the same.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 11:17, closed)

Ta
and happy b3taday!
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Tue 17 Apr 2012, 11:23, closed)

Thanks!
I am having tea and scones later, you are invited.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 11:26, closed)

How
VERY civilised. Can I turn up, get drunk and start hitting on your mother?
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Tue 17 Apr 2012, 11:27, closed)

If you don't mind necrophilia yes.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 11:38, closed)

Mind?
No....
I tend to actively seek it out.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Tue 17 Apr 2012, 11:43, closed)

on
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 11:42, closed)

You prefer a bit of kink then drimble?

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 11:51, closed)

This may be a repost...
...but it's one of my favourite reposts.

*clicks*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 17 Apr 2012, 11:45, closed)

We have a winner...
...great story!
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 7:26, closed)