Jenny
A while back my boss dropped onto my desk a CV and covering letter sent in by a recent university graduate called Jenny. We had not advertised a position and we were not recruiting staff. “Bloody cheek” said my boss and promptly locked himself in his office to do whatever it is directors of small accountancy firms do. I gave the beautifully hand written letter a cursory glance before dropping it into the bin.

As the morning wore on the letter in the bin started to bother me. I was remembering the 6 months of unemployment I endured 8 years earlier…signing on the day after graduation, the grinding monotony of filling out job applications and dealing with disinterested recruitment agency staff, rejection after rejection and even worse, NEVER HEARING BACK!!!! Wondering what you did wrong or what made you so fucking unemployable, the feelings of betrayal over every teacher who had ever pushed you in the direction of higher education and having to lower your expectations in life every day as you apply for worse and worse jobs.

It got to mid-day and I thought “sod it, I’m going to call this girl and give her some feedback”. I was going to tell her that it was nothing to do with her; there just wasn’t a position available. I was going to tell her that I thought her cover letter was beautifully written and that her CV was well presented. I was going to tell her all the inside secrets I had learnt on how to become an accountant and the various recruitment agencies that could find her work. I might not be able to offer her a job, but by the end of our conversation she was going to be crying with tears of gratitude and joy.

I dialled the number, after many rings it is answered:
Voice (her mother I assume): “Hello?”
Me: “May I speak with Jenny please?”
Jenny’s mother: “She’s still in bed”
Me: “Jenny wrote to me expressing an interest in becoming a trainee accountant”.
Jenny’s mother: “Hang on” She puts down the receiver and shouts “JENNY!” repeatedly up the stairs.
Faint voice (Jenny I assume): “WHAT?”
Jenny’s mother: “Some bloke you wrote to is on the phone, says he’s an accountant”
Jenny: “Get him to call back, I’m meeting Sasha in town”
Jenny’s mother (picks up receiver): “Can you call back? She’s…
Me: “Meeting Sasha in town. I take it Jenny has already found a job?”
Jenny’s mother: “Not yet, but she’s looking hard”

I wonder if Jenny’s mother could hear the sound of her daughters CV and beautifully hand-written letter going through the shredder at the side of my desk?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 3 Apr 2009, 15:08, 6 replies)

Ha!
Like it!
( SpankyHanky, Fri 3 Apr 2009, 15:16, closed)

Shame
I was hoping for one of those heart-wrenching stories of outstanding kindness, where you started Jenny on a long and successful career path.

Nevertheless it is a funny story and deserves a click.
(porkinator is a Rock n Roll nerd!, Fri 3 Apr 2009, 15:27, closed)

I was hoping...
...that you were going to tell a tale which ended up in the 2 of you meeting, falling madly in love and being so consumed with each other that you set up your own successful business at home so you could stay within arms reach of each other for the rest of your lives.

Ah well....
(Apathyman Prepare to be underwhelmed..., Fri 3 Apr 2009, 15:32, closed)

This...
How many times have I had to interview people like you described above?

Answer: Lots. And I'll be posting soon.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 3 Apr 2009, 15:37, closed)

priorities
eh hello mr Dracula but I believe the girl did clearly state that she was meeting Sasha in town. They obviously had some shit to do, how on earth can one do shit with Sasha in town when one is 'carrying the ones' in an accountancy firm ?

for crying out loud.
(The Cats Twat, Fri 3 Apr 2009, 18:18, closed)

I like this
almost as much as the OP.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 3 Apr 2009, 23:15, closed)