I was a student housewife.
Here, as far as I can understand it, is my housemate's current train of thought.

1. I have a Very Important Job [Saturdays only].
2. Shini, by virtue of overarching laziness and a student loan, has no job and is thus A Waster.
3. As such, she could at least make herself useful around the house by tidying my room, doing my laundry and washing up a week's worth of my plates after hauling them out from under the sofa.
4. For the rest of the week, I will be busy recuperating after the stresses of my Very Important Job [eight hours a week in a small tobacconist which is in no danger of being overrun with customers]; and so I will have no choice but to fling my crockery and socks down on the floor and then forget they're there. I can't see the floor, because I am Tall and Manly.
5. Possibly as a direct consequence of being A Waster, Shini is neither Tall nor Manly [whatever my granny says]. Therefore, it makes sense for her to pick my stuff up when it goes below eye level.
6. Onoz! My mummy is arriving from Americaland tomorrow! We must clean the entire house!
7. But I am Working at my Very Important &c., so Shini will do it.
8. It's what she's for.
9. Two nights before my mummy is due to get here, and the night before I have to get up at eight to Go To Work, it is a sensible idea to come shuffling into Shini's room at one in the morning with a two-litre bottle of Coke and discuss politics with her for four and a half hours.
10. Oh, fucksocks. I'm only going to get two hours' sleep tonight. That bitch. It's her fault.
11. Ah well, at least I can sleep with my eyes open at My Job. Shini will do a month's worth of laundry, tidy my room, hide my porn, set up the spare room ready for my mummy, do the washing up and move all the musical instruments I bought on a whim, can't play and don't really have room for into her room, because she is A Waster with Nothing To Do.
12. I wonder what she'll make for tea?

The sad thing is, we're not even married. We're not even fucking. I just owe him money.
(Shinigami, Sat 4 Apr 2009, 11:17, 11 replies)

You type like a retard.
You fucking nonce.
(Ohojo The Mojo, Sat 4 Apr 2009, 11:39, closed)

Fair comment.
You type like Jade Goody, though, you noncing fuck.
(Shinigami, Sat 4 Apr 2009, 11:54, closed)

Nice comeback...
Shame I have a houseful of lodgers - you've gone to the top of the waiting list though (and I generally tidy up behind myself even though I too have a Very Important Job)

heh

*click*
( snee held his breath since, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 12:09, closed)

Well I like the story!
*Click!*
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Sat 4 Apr 2009, 12:33, closed)

as do I
Feel free to ignore the first commentator; it's not like he's ever offered anything remotely funny or intelligent.
(jennymnemonic, Sat 4 Apr 2009, 12:57, closed)

I liked it too
Sad thing is, you sound like exactly the kind of doormat this arse will want to one day marry! And put his tackle into. Do both him and his future spouse (& kids?) a favour and help him grow up by playing childish games with his shit until he learns. It worked for me.

Remember, he needs you until you pay up. BTW is all this skivvying contributing to what you owe?
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Sat 4 Apr 2009, 14:05, closed)

Wouldn't the logical
solution be to start charging for your services then?
(Bo Nidle Coming back in from the cold., Sat 4 Apr 2009, 14:54, closed)

How much
do you owe him? (to add a little perspective)
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Sat 4 Apr 2009, 16:29, closed)

I think you ought to move
how much do you owe him?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 4 Apr 2009, 22:53, closed)

Ah
If you want to live in my house for free all you have to do is to shower with the door open.

*clandestinely offers*
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Sat 4 Apr 2009, 23:17, closed)

So...
Charge him by the hour for cleaning...
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 13:34, closed)