Tales of the unemployed volume five
2002. I'm on a night out (nurses night in Morpeth - last Wednesday of every month. Bloody meat market). I'm standing having a pint in a bar with my mate Alan, when I notice this bloke giving me the eye.

Eventually he comes over to me.

"Alright?" he asks.

"Erm, yeah. Good, thanks", I reply, somewhat disconcerted. What the fuck does this guy want?

"You work in the Jobcentre in Alnwick, don't you?"

Aw, shit. Not what I need at this moment. A pissed off punter.

"I did, but I left a few months ago. I'm doing something else now".

"You interviewed me about a year ago".

My arsehole starts putting like a rabbits' nose at this point, sphincter contracting and expanding rapidly - one penny, bin lid, one penny, bin lid. Had I actually eaten anything, I probably would have shat myself and cried at that point.

"Oh, did I?"

"Yeah"

A brief pause.

"Yeah. You were the only person in that place that treated me like a human being in the short time I was signing on. And you gave me the details for the job I'm doing now. Cheers. What you drinking?"

One pint of Tetley's later, and I'm his best mate. Metaphorically speaking, that is.

So you see, if you work in a Jobcentre, never ever piss off the clients. There might be a beer in it for you at some point.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 5 Apr 2009, 21:06, 3 replies)

Teh momentary fear...
Good work Davros, I've been thinking this week's QOTW is right up your street - good post.

*clicks*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 6 Apr 2009, 9:30, closed)

Oh God
Morpeth Nurse's Night. I have been a broken, broken man after a few of those.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Mon 6 Apr 2009, 14:58, closed)

Me too!
Gah, the memories...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 6 Apr 2009, 18:51, closed)