Stupid benefits
Ok, so picture the scene. You've just decided that perhaps the glamerous life of a Personal ASsistant to some twunts in Probation just isn't the life for you, from there you spiral into crappy job to crappy job in a vague attempt to try and get yourself some money so that the crows don't peck your eyes out and your parents don't ship you back to Ireland to pick potatoes for a living. So after some soul searching you decide to go back to college and get some re-education so that you can go work in a different field that you actually enjoyed working in.

The downside to this however is that you will need to make yourself completely unemployed, with no savings and no job prospects until you have studied the bare minimum and get some basic volunteering experience. So yay! I gleefully called the Benefits office to be told yes, that I was elligable. The flip side is that I would have to get some education (under 16 hours a week), get some volunteering experience in my field (unlimited hours) potentially get yourself a part time job in said field (also under 16 hours a week) and finally be available to work for any other vacancies that are available between now and the day that I get qualified.

So what did I do? Went out there got a part time volunteering 3 days a week. Got myself a job for 12 hours a week. Got myself an education for 3 hours a week.

Amazing! I managed to get all this in place in under a year and on my 10month review... I am then told words which still make my jaw drop down to my uncles ankles in Austrilia;

"You'll have to stop everything you're doing, you're making yourself over-qualified for any potential vacancies we can give you".

I mean seriously, what the FUCKsocks are they talking about? On querying this I was then told that basically I need to be able to accept any job that was offered to me, from £3.25 a day jizz mopping in Soho to £10 a blowjob in the toliets back in the Benefits centre because the policy I was on meant that there was no room for self improvement. I've got experience working in Woolworths, here! Go work in Greggs for £4.35 an hour! Oh looky, you've worked in a bar? Amazing! Go work here for £3.00 p/h, including "generous tips".

Long story short, told the dearly beloved lady to go fuck herself and within 2 months landed myself a job which I love and the best bit? Pays me more than any job that had ever been offered in the job centre.

Turns out a year of doing what I thought was best (volunteering/working/studying/masturbating/playing Warcraft) was actually far superior to the "sit on your fat arse and wait for work to magically appear in front of you" ethos that 90% of all people who work at Job Centres want you to do.

Oh, and the best bit is that I love my job and reguluarly get to shout at Job Centre twats who stop my clients benefits for no reason. Ah, Karma is a bitch, and now so am I.
(Helo, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 12:48, Reply)