Nekkid woman
My ex-stepmother is far too worthy, self-righteous and power-happy to do anything other than make an utter fool of herself in absolutely everything she does. She is also so egotistical she is prone to create rather disturbing, bordering on the abusive, but ultimately in hindsight terrifically funny scenes like that detailed below, as a result:

When I was about 14, I'd got to the stage that I was decorating my room and generally turning into a bit of a punk/goth, so there were a lot of drapes and "arty" pictures in my room.

My wardrobe door was a bit tatty, so one day when I passed a shop selling long, thin posters, I decided to get one to cover it.

The one I chose was of a topless woman standing by a deep red velvet curtain, holding a black rose, by a white marble plinth thing (I make no apology - I was 14 - full of poetry and wobbly-voiced sincerity).

I put it up and that was that.

That evening my stepmother knocked on my door, opened it a crack, and told me "Vagabond - I don't like your poster. It's demeaning to women so I want you to take it down and throw it away."

She'd obviously planned this, as I played straight into her hands.

"It's only a naked woman - it's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Oh YEAH?!" she replied "Well if you want to see what a naked woman looks like, HERE IT IS!" and she burst in, in her birthday suit.

She danced around the room several times, tore down my poster, tore it into little pieces, threw the little pieces all over the room, and ran out.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:57, 8 replies)

Haha, Fuck!

( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:18, closed)

wow
your stepmother was a real... what do you call that?!?!?!!
( Zhmei HEY B3TA I WAS ON YOUR DINGY ISLAND AT LAST!1!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:38, closed)

...
POIDH
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:05, closed)