That's not just an arse crack, that's an M&S arse crack
I was dragged shopping this morning by a bloke friend of mine who for some reason - perhaps impaired vision - decided I could be of assistance as some kind of personal stylist who could help him replenish his ailing wardrobe. Second port of call (having stared incredulously at the price tags on faux-distressed t-shirts in Topman) was Marks and Spencers where he was keen to purchase identical but much newer underwear to the stuff he already has. We located this and the frowning began. He couldn't remember what size to get.

"Check your label," sez I, thinking practically.
"If you could just read it for me..." sez he, fumbling round the back of his pants and lowering them enough to whip out the required label...

...at which point two auld birds - who precisely fitted the M&S elderly shopper demographic as evidenced by the blue rinse and the comfort-fit elastic waistband trousers - shuffled past arthritically enough to get a good long look at my mate exposing most of his arse to them.

Medium, as it happens.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:01, 3 replies)

Just wanted to remind everybody.
Underwear is measured by waist size, not cock size.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:11, closed)

...
Glad I didn't boast of my XXL pants then.

Phew, nearly made myself look foolish there.
( Moey, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:24, closed)

I assure you
I was referring to waist size. As double entendres go, it was milking it a bit, fnarr fnarr.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:17, closed)