The cold hand of dooooooooom
.
Before I was married, I had a room (and therefore a bed) all to my little self. I liked my bed. No, I loved my bed. Being a teenager, I spent as much time in there as I could (alone - and asleep).

One night, I'd gone to bed as usual and fallen asleep (as you do). I woke up in the middle of the night, in the pitch darkness, when a cold, dead-feeling hand landed on my face.

My heart was pounding like I'd run a marathon as I wrestled the cold hand off my face. I was gibbering like a maniac, too shocked even to scream.

Then I realised that the cold hand of doom was in fact attached to my own arm.

I'd turned over and my arm had obviously ended up resting vertically against the tasteful rose pink velour headboard. Having lost the blood flow, my normally cool hand had transformed into something much scarier. The relief when I realised what had happened was almost enough to make the resulting pins and needles worthwhile.

Still scared me shitless for a few moments though.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:36, 14 replies)

Did teh fear
continue when you spotted the rose pink velour headboard?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:38, closed)

nah, I was immune to that
I should add that it was my darling mum, in what can only be described as a "Hyacinth Bouquet" moment, who purchased the offending item. It had buttons and everything. The ultimate in 80s taste!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:41, closed)

*laughs*
Did you not make use of the cold hand of doooom by pretending it belonged to a boy you fancied that was copping a feel.
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:43, closed)

@BGB
there is a name for that, but I forget what it is at the moment. I think it might be a mystery wank or something.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:46, closed)

I
hate that feeling!

Although at least you didn't try to run away from it!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:48, closed)

I've done that too
without the pink velour, though.

But the thing which I found interesting was just how heavy your arm feels when it lands on your face. It's a big chunk of flesh when it comes skelping down unrestrained by muscle action.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:50, closed)

This is surprisingly common
thank god it's not just me.

@K2k6 - and what, my good man, is wrong with pink velour? Apart from everything, I suppose ...
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:56, closed)

The trouble with velour in general?
Getting the jizz off and the bloodstains out.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 7 Jul 2008, 16:17, closed)

Do I possess a toilet or does the toilet possess me?
Every time I sit on my favourite bog in the house, I 'mysteriously' become possessed by the spirit of a wheelchair user from the knees down. He's not always there, so if I do a quick wee it doesn't get me.

I think it's a bigoted illiterate spirit too. If I ever enjoy a private read, it takes my legs leaving me hobbling around like a cripple for 10 mins after I flush & wash.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 17:04, closed)

try waking up with two dead arms, while
lying on your front.

then try to turn over.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 17:05, closed)

Having a wank
would also make the resulting pins and needles worthwhile!
(Baa Lamb, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 17:10, closed)

I tried the old numbhand wankfakery once*
but after mere seconds, the feeling returns, thus bring me back to reality with a tingly bump.

*may have been many, many times
( chart cat has an itch, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 18:33, closed)

I once
woke up to discover a mysterious hand under my pillow in a similar way. Fucking freaky.
(miffytherabbit, Wed 9 Jul 2008, 17:19, closed)