... so anyway, it was early evening, and I'd found a pub in Chelsea, where I was drowning my sorrows having just been dumped by my girlfriend.
These two girls came in who were clearly looking for trouble: one of them spotted my camera, and with the poshest accent known even unto God himself, said "Gosh! Are you a photographer?! I need some modelling shots taken!"

It was obvious that they'd also been drinking, and after buying a round we were soon onto the usual shallow flirtation of the easy and the fast.

It transpired that they were students, this was their local, and that the flat one of them owned was just around the corner.

The most sensible thing to do next seemed to be to go back there for spirits and high jinx.

Once there, we sat in a circle, and, having finished the dregs of the first bottle of vodka, decided to play Truth Or Dare.

The first round consisted of deliberately boring stuff: "What was your first pet's name?" and "What's your favourite colour?" etc, but then suddenly it's like a switch was flicked.

As the bottle spun onto one of the girls, the other one said, staring at her, "Why don't you come here and kiss my belly?"

She leaned backwards, exposing her firm, tanned midrif.

The other leaned forward, with a wicked glint in her eye.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:42, 4 replies)

Oh you bastard
have a click
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:51, closed)

I think it was going to go like this:
The expression of mischevious joy which had previously claimed her features instantly fell away as I pointed it out, and suggested - as gently as I was able - that it looked very much like advanced, early-onset ocular melanoma. Within three weeks, the specialist had taken her eyes - but it was too late; it had metastasized into her kidneys, and she was given six months to live. She lasted four.

Her friend didn't long survive her. Wracked with feelings of guilt and self-loathing, the bottle of vodka we'd drank that night turned into two, then three; it wasn't long until she was 'regretfully let go' from her place of work - the recession, they said, but everyone knew the truth. I never saw much of her, after that; as I understand it, she drifted into crime and prostitution during her final months - the demons had taken her, demanding she abandon all pride and morality in pursuit of the addiction which would take her life.

And me? I never, ever played Truth or Dare again.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 16:09, closed)

^This
is brilliant!
(porkinator is a Rock n Roll nerd!, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 16:15, closed)

that would be a conclusion, an ending, or a finish, though, no?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 16:17, closed)

not if she were Buddhist...
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 16:19, closed)

Hahahahahahahaha

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 16:19, closed)

Ha!

( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 16:40, closed)

He's on fire!

( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:20, closed)

Ha ha ha!
Excellent!
( splorp ®, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:31, closed)

Nooo!!!!
Finish that story of forever bear my hatred!
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 16:12, closed)

Ufff

...finished....
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 16:31, closed)

The other leaned forward, with a wicked glint in her eye.
"I was thinking", she said.

"Yes?" I responded, trying not to slur my words too much.

"Have you ever seen two girls naked together?"

I thought about it. Told my self "Come on chap, don't blow this now". I looked from her to her pal, back again.

"Look," I said. "I'm not really a welder".
( Not Pineapple anymore, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 8:04, closed)

*office lols*

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 14:16, closed)