Fuck, that's nothing.
I came back from the toilets once and drained my Guinness - to the amusement of all watching, who informed me between gasping laughs that my delicious beverage had been subject to a real dick, not your foamy impersonation.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 18:25, 2 replies)

I actually refreshed my member one time in a mate's drink*...
Of all the people in the bar - who had to tell him?

My other half...

*In my defence, he WAS drinking kangaroo piss (aka Fosters)
( snee held his breath since, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 21:56, closed)

The faint taste of smeg
would improve Fosters.
( Cadmus has teh uplikn coeds at, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 22:30, closed)

Well, I'm sure you're an upstanding member of society
whereas this guy was a proper specimen. Brought up as 100% teuchter,, he was so homophobic he dumped his girlfriend when she snogged another girl for his edification.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:40, closed)

I read somewhere that Marco Pierre White, having tried to chat up one of his dining clients and getting rebuffed at every turn, gave his membre virilis a rinse in her champagne, while saying "that's the closest I'm going to get with her tonight."

You have to applaud the man's perspicacity.

ObLength: I wasn't there. Can't really comment.
(Large Hardon Collider Bah Bloody Humbug, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:01, closed)