To hell with the topic, have a Christmas disaster
Years ago, my driving instructor, Brian (for that was his proverbial) was going out with the landlady of a pub. Yay for him, the spawny get. Anyway, late one Dec 24th evening, a particularly loud group of 'barely 18' punters finally left at kicking out time. Well, ejected really as they had tried their hardest to induce some sort of lock-in.
After 5 mins, they had buggered off and Brian was helping tidy up when he noticed a flickering outside. He looked out of the window and noticed a fire across the road in the churchyard.
"Bastard!" he thought and assumed the kids they had kicked out had decided to set something ablaze in spite. He grabbed a long hose and dragged it out of the pub across the narrow lane, shouting back to the landlady to "Phone the fire brigade!"
He started hosing down the fire, which he had caught quite early as it was still quite small. Just then, the church doors opened and the vicar was standing there along with a good dozen or so members of the Midnight Mass congregation, watching Brian suddenly realise that there were no arsonists after all and that he had in fact just extinguished and thoroughly soaked the Yule Log.

He wasn't very popular after that.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 24 Dec 2010, 14:29, 2 replies)

we had a goose fat fire.
Sausages for christmas dinner that year.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 24 Dec 2010, 14:51, closed)

Going well so far. Straight razor and all the doings from the Mrs!. Ha!
Popped out to the lobster pots first thing, and there's 3 of 'em cooked and ready for staters. Goose and turky prepared for the oven...nothing can go wrong.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sat 25 Dec 2010, 11:41, closed)