Purple Vein, Puuurple Vein
19 years old, girl who I’ve been involved with a couple of times comes round to mine. We start drinking and chatting, we finish the whisky. I go to the off-license to buy some more. My mind starts whizzing, will I get some tonight? Well, considering that she is..umm… experienced, and let’s say slightly loose for lack of distasteful adjectives, I get to the conclusion that “Maybe perhaps I’ll get teh muff”. Should buy condoms, unfortunately they only have Playboy ones, which are damn expensive. Bugger that, I probably won’t get it anyway.
As she starts to fondle in my downstairs department I curse myself. After years of sexual education and adverts advising me to use condoms in such situations I decide to totally disregard this advice, figuring that it is merely a way for the Man to keep tight control over the population. Insert, thrust, repeat, only this action is stopped somewhere in the middle. So it’s more like Insert, thr…what the fukc?..Thru…no. Ahem. Doesn’t seem to work. On top of this I find myself thinking “What’s the next track on this album..Wha! What am I thinking? Let’s get this done!”. Unfortunately ‘this’ never is done. Half way through the stress kicks in, doubled by the excruciating pain my little man is subjected to.
Never heard it, never used it, but the inevitable “Shit, this never happened before” line pops out of my mouth, I guess that must be included in a strand of DNA or something.
When she leaves I go to the toilet and find that my ding dong must be like Global Hypercolors, for it is now bright purple. The next day at the doctor I learn I have burst a vein, and I need to get circumcised. Strangely enough, I had no problem wanking furiously before all this. Now I love teh secks thank you very much.

Girth, girth, girth
(sinboy, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 10:44, Reply)