"I'm not bragging, but the condoms are too small for me"
BOLLOCKS.

I can fit a condom over my entire HEAD you lying turds.

"I'm not bragging" No. You're Lying. (edit: in the majority of cases)

***********************

I had mate at uni with whom I used to get busy when we both needed it... She used to tell the story of when an eager 18 year-old insisted on walking her to her room, and then drunkenly suggested sex (claiming he ws a virgin). She said: "Sure, but you'd better put this on" Tore open a small package, and with a flourish and a 'Floomp', produced a Femidom.
Apparently the lad ran away with her voice ringing down the corridor: "What's Wrong kid? THEY FITTED MY EX-BOYFRIEND!!!!"

10/10 for style.
10/10 for her performance too.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 4 Mar 2005, 12:48, Reply)