the horror (but not mine)
My friend meets a bloke in Lanzarote and meet up back in the UK, get a bit tiddly, end up shagging in rather public place. Afterwards, my friend comes find me in the park I hung out in (we were 16). She's in tears. Losing her virginity was not what she thought it would be. Boring, uncomfortable and to make matters worse her phone rang in the middle of it, being a bit confused she answered it, it being the local pervert who liked to hang out with 16 year olds and had somehow got her number. At that moment. Then she told me where it happened, and I burst out laughing.

At the exact site of a series of local muggings, then currently under 24hr camera and CID watch. She still doesn't know and is still very upset at me laughing. 10 years later.

2. Mine is boring. He initially missed (and I mean that literally, he was a bit over-excited) on the first effort, and it was all I could do not to laugh. So I did. Which was followed by a serve-you-right-lady-you-asked-for-it AMAZING first time. I am still with the increasingly amazing man. You may hate me now.

* however, if we're talking about the fumbles with the utterly useless blokes that went before... dry hump in a vicars garden; roll in the hay with a guy who lived with his dad who was clearly wanking in the next room to our naughtiness (wrongwrongwrong); throwing up with a blokes tongue down my throat (a. it probably caused it and b. i didn't invite him to either) - classy; getting off with a bloke on a sofa having turned down the offer of a shag on the mate-principal* (*not wanting to leave my friend all alone in the party with no lift home) whilst having a hand repeatedly and drunkenly thrust up my skirt by some other bloke, not knowing the whole thing was caught on CCTV. With sound.

I excel at the small stuff you see.

Aplogies for length xx
(secretlysomeoneelse, Fri 4 Mar 2005, 12:59, Reply)