The road to hell....
2 years ago I was at work and coming down with a spot of man flu. Early afternoon I realise I'm not gonna make it and am sent home.

Trouble is I live 35 miles away down the M5 motorway. So I set off home and am doing pretty well until I was quickly hit by that horrible vom nausea. It came on quickly, too quickly and from the middle lane of the motorway at 80mph I indicated to pull in and headed for the hard shoulder. I'd barely made it into the first lane or dropped below 70mph when the convulsion hit and I spewed.

Not wanting to crash I had to keep my eyes on the road and hands on the wheel so much to my own upset I puked all over the steering wheel, my hands and lap. You can not imagine the panic of trying to keep your eyes open, concentrate on driving and simultaneously puke.

I screeched to a halt on the hard shoulder and was throwing the door open when the next wave hit and this time I got my sleeve, the door pocket and finally some onto the road itself.

I practically fell to my knees out of the door still puking as I made my way to the back of the car and the grass verge. In between "spurts" I glanced up at the horrified faces of motorists witnessing this standing puke fountain addition to the motorway.

Eventually the torrents gave way to the dry wretch and I had to face my situation. I was still 20 miles from home, alone, on the motorway and the drivers seat, door trim, steering wheel and me are covered in a thick paste of beige tummy custard.

Luckily though in my pocket I had one crumpled tissue I'd been wiping my runny flu nose with earlier. I swear a shed a little vom tear as I doubled the tissue over again and again trying to eek out as much life from it as I could.

Then the fun part, I had to sit down in the puddle of vom on the seat, now nicely chilled by the winter air. I gripped the sticky steering wheel and drove home.

Upon arriving home I felt so weak and yucky all I could manage was a quick shower then into bed for 48 hours. I can assure you that leaving a puddle of vom for 48 hours in a locked car does nothing for the resale value...
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 17:54, 2 replies)

Christ.
That's grim. Very funny story but you have my sympathies.
( Evil Bastardo, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 15:00, closed)

OMFG
clicking *I like this* seems wrong ~ but I did it anywho

Well written
(whiskas loved by 8 out of 10 cats, Sun 10 Jan 2010, 19:02, closed)