Any vomity vagina port in a storm
At a house party, everyone had found a warm body to snuggle up to, except me, because I look like a white version of Lt. Worf with tits.
As I was stumbling/eavesdropping/ladywanking around the various couples, I chanced upon a young man providing some manual stimulation to my drunken friend through/in/around/amongst her vomit soaked knickers. She'd been drinking dark rum and Baileys, so it was all stinky and creamy and sickly bleurghhhhatnbw024j20384j549uitondskn.
*Shitty joke about the story having no satisfying climax*
(reducedfatLOLcat, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 14:53, 3 replies)

Lt. Worf with tits
made me laugh like hell.

Can't be that bad- unless you need to shave your cranial ridge?
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 16:19, closed)

Actually
I look quite dashing when I've a shaved forehead.
(reducedfatLOLcat, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 21:29, closed)

Excellent first line!
(sodbiscuit sodbiscuit, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 22:24, closed)