so
i was on the tube last christmas, when three lads got on at piccadilly circus. two of them were supporting the third, a young asian guy who was possibly the skinniest thing i have ever seen. he was trussed up in a suit with a laptop slung around his neck, and he was so leathered that he was green. his companions were worrying aloud about letting him get in this state when he wasn't really supposed to drink. i was worrying silently about the inevitable.

anyway, the tube beeped to say it was ready to move, so they propped him against the bum-rest that piccadilly line carriages have, and legged it, leaving him to his fate. everyone was eyeing him by now. and at first it seemed as if all might be well. the tube chugged towards west london and nothing happened.

then we got to earl's court, and with a sound like an elephant ralphing, the skinny drunk opened his mouth and liquid red vomit simply poured out of him. it was like a tsunami sloshing down the carriage; everyone was screaming and lifting their feet to avoid the tidal wave of crimson death. the next thing was an almighty BANG as he slipped in his own spew and landed right on his laptop. he rolled around in it for a while until the tube doors opened, at which point he simply rolled onto the platform and we left him to it.

but the smell. the smell did not return the favour and leave us to it. second hand red wine wine... positively unforgettable!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 9 Jan 2010, 23:55, 1 reply)

Sounds delightful.
Nice of his mates to just stick him on the tube and fuck off, as well. Could they not at least have taken his laptop away from him, so he wouldn't damage it?
(Uncle Comrade, Sun 10 Jan 2010, 2:29, closed)