happy birthday!
It was my 19th birthday on Saturday and unfortunately after some particularly strong rum I felt a little bit of sick come up in my mouth...I knew I wouldn't make it in time to the toilet, I did however leap to the sink and let my stomach rip. I praised myself for not vomiting on the floor, before turning on the water to wash it away..,,.shit! I had blocked the sink with chunks of potato and other vegetable matter. The salsa added the appearance of a red blood bath with floating matter. I was at a loss at what to do and so yes, I called my mum up to witness the scene. My mum was dismayed as she resorted to a spoon trying to pick lumps up. Unfortunately me and my friends had earlier booked a taxi, and so I had to leave her there as she called my dad up in despair...ooops
(jinguana, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 0:03, 1 reply)

And the reason she didn't tell you to fuck off....
....was guilt at having raised such as you!

In 14-16 years time my two offspring will have learnt:

1. Strong rum is a man's drink (if you didn't add a little water to it, then you didn't even get the full effect!)

2. If you block the sink with puke, then you put the Marigolds on and make the FUCKING TAXI DRIVER AND YOUR FUCKING MATES wait 5 minutes!

And on the anniversary of your mum's labor pains, as well....

I hope you sorted out some flowers or something.
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 1:03, closed)